Archive for March, 2006

Quick rant.

Kurt says:
there's a price, oh is there ever, a price to everything.

Some people have already heard me blab about this, but this new revelation, that '…' is really irking me right now. I don't know how to go about things really, although I think it's not that I'm not going au naturale. On the contrary, everything is still here, still raw, still real. But the circles are getting more frequent eh?

Unless of course suddenly someone pops out of nowhere and pushes me into writing what I really think, if it's important enough to divert my mind of course.

I think my detractors will be damn happy to know that I will be exercising more care here after all, but that's not because of your anonymous pressure, it's something else altogether, and sir, if you're reading this, please be assured that you can count on me to deliver both my responsibilities on the personal and public front as best as I can. I'm not sure I'll be keeping my balance all the time, in face, I'm pretty certain that the occasional stumble is bound to happen, but one thing for sure, I will be prudent. That much I can assure you of.

So as we were discussing, friends, yes, the price to pay is nothing much, nothing at all.

What happened, you ask?

Well, the answer is…

Actually I need to confirm the answer early next week. *Looks up, asks favour, bows head in faith.*

Two months.

Ok. It's done. Now it's the waiting period, and then I get to FLY FLY FLY.

In the meantime it's still two whole months of writing for me. Well, unless my request pulls through, but yeah you'll be the first to know.

Eric thinks it's weird how I plod along in my life so clumsily and yet still get the things I keep asking for. Eh that's not very true at all.

I think the key is making it seem as if I enjoy everything that I get. On the other hand there are things that I don't get too, but I try very very hard not to mull over the failures, lest I get eaten up by my insecurities. Sometimes, if you programme yourself into being happy and joyous, you start to believe in it until it becomes a reality. It's really, not that bad being optimistic and jumpy at most times.

Of course, thanks for the great friends who've never allowed me to sit alone in the darkness. I'm just so blessed to have you guys in my life! Whee!

Knowing our places.

I cannot describe how importantly I view the virtues of humility, especially when you're just fresh out of grad school with a smashing honours degree (first class honours, anyone?) as that cherry on top of your cake.

The scary thing about graduating with first class honours from any university, is the fact that showers of praise are heaped upon you when you get out. You have proud parents and envious friends patting your backs and singing praises about your bright future–suddenly everyone around you can predict your future. And that's the scary part.

The problem is you haven't even got yourself a job yet. That seal of recognition on your certificate just tells your potential employer that you're a potential candidate to fill an empty position–it just tells him that you're good at getting great grades. Nothing on that piece on paper says that you're going to be a good worker.

In comes the CV, or resume. 'I've had work experience before, I spent three semester breaks working as a trainee in different companies, and I got very good reviews.'

Chances are it was a prerequisite for you to complete at least one internship in order for you to get that degree. And even if a traineeship isn't a requirement, you're not the only graduate who worked at a company for a minimal fee during the holidays.

You see, sometimes the danger of graduating with glamourous results and fantastic reviews from supervisors and lecturers can get threatening. It becomes easy for students like this to fall into the trap of being conceited–they think they own the world, and that the globe is at their feet, ready for them to march in and conquer. Such idealistic thoughts and dreams are fine, of course, but when you climb too high too soon, you lose your balance easily, and you fall easily. I've friends who've envy-worthy graduation slips, and past-promises of a bright future, but have recently got entangled in wallows of self-pity. They keep pointing out their lesser-peers, people who did not do quite as well as they did in university, but are spearheading teams at their own companies, and they do such pointing with venemous fingers of accusation.

Sometimes in private spaces we talk about work and share ideas on how to survive in the rat race. But the weight of six consecutive 4-flats pulls them down so strongly, it's hard for them to stand up and join in the race. They cannot understand that to win a typical race, you have to start from the starting point, not barge in in the middle and sprint to the front. Usually, they think they're atypical, and they want to get the champion's trophy even before trying.

I told a fresh graduate just a few weeks back, someone who had just came out of a UK varsity and has been searching for a job for three months (and still searching), that he needed to cast away his degree and focus on performing well in the interview.

'But won't the interviewer and the potential employers even consider my degree and the years I spent overseas? I didn't study so long and so hard just to be rejected, you know?'

'Well, of course he would consider that. The moment you get the invitation to be a candidate, he's considered all your academic qualifications and past work experience. But once you step into that interview hall, you just have to put your university achievements behind you and focus on the interview. You don't want to convince your future employer that you're great because your academic results prove so. You want to convince him that you're the person for the job because of who you are, and what you can provide for him.'

Sometimes it's hard to trust the numbers on a piece of paper, because they do not reveal enough about a person's capability to perform well. That's why almost all interview processes these days includes that aptitude test, and more recently, that English test. You never know what an A1 in the 1119 will translate to in real life. For all we care, you just rote-learned your way to your glittering grades, and it worked for you. But we don't want parrots with glamourous results. We want people who can perform.

People who graduate with straight As have the problem of aiming too high, because they think too highly of themselves. They want to start off with a bang, in huge companies, MNCs and GLCs, in high-ranking positions that will take them across the globe and allow them to leave a trail of colourful ribbons for their younger friends to see and admire. That's why they keep rejecting jobs, 'That company is not good enough for me. That salary is too small for me. That position sounds so dodgy.'

It beats me why can't people like these understand that it's not what they can do for the company right now, it's more about what the company can do for them, the kind of experience that they will take home from that experience in a small company. I was trying to convince yet another girl who had a First Class Honours Degree in Informational Technology to take up a RM1800 position in an SMI.

'You don't understand, Claire. That place is too small. RM1800 is too little. I graduated top of my class, and I have friends who didn't do as well as me earning RM 2000+ already. I need a job that will prove my academic work worth its years,' she insisted.

'Well that small company will provide you the experience to move on to another job, and maybe you'll stay and grow with the company as it gets bigger. No company is set up to fail you know?'

Her response floored me.

'You know, a lot of MDs and CEOs of MNCs started off in MNCs. You know Bill Gates? He started off with Microsoft when he was younger. He's still with Microsoft.'

'Yeah I know.'

I thought it was pointless to continue talking to someone with that kind of knowledge about the world. First Class Honours? Sure.

April sounds cool

The programme for the month of April sounds promising. It's a time of leave-clearing, and short breaks here and there. A good friend is getting married too, and the girls have a hotel room booked to do naughty stuff that girls usually do to celebrate her last days of being a bachelor girl. And then later in the month, my boyfriend is bringing me to Penang for a short trip with his family. This is the first trip that I'm doing with the whole family, including the sisters, the future brother-in-law (his, not mine), the mother and the niece.

Even better that Mum's agreed to the trip and not being sulky at all about it. I think she's coping very well with the empty nest problem now. But I'll have to thank Eric for making most of the effort. Like arriving at my house an hour before I reach home just to chat with Mum, or getting her that massage mat, and buying vanilla ice-cream to make A&W Root Beer Floats.

It's the little things that matter, and I'm fortunate that he knows which will nurture the flowers.

Oh, oh. My friend April will be celebrating her birthday in April too, besides making her first step into the realities of working. WELCOME TO MY WORLD, GIRL!

And then suddenly you realize it's the fourth month into 2006. Sigh.

The Wicked.

I've been kept up by this game. The Wicked.

On Friday, Kurt and I spent about an hour being terribly unproductive, trying to figure out how to move on from level to level. I left at around 5.30, hanging at Level 15, and then decided to get back to it on Monday. That's today.

Then I found out at 11.45 am that chao Agagooga provided the walkthroughs all the way to Level 31.

Cibai.

You should not click on Agagooga's website if you really wanna have fun with The Wicked. Go try.