just minishorts.

Eric and I were invited to his college mate's wedding on Saturday. It was a very traditional affair, there was a proper tai kam che to add to the festivities and all. And my, my, that woman can really talk okay. She was going on and on and on it was grating on my ear drums. I had this tiniest urge in me to go up and stuff her ears mouth with the broccoli branches from the dish. DAMN BLOODY ANNOYING OKAY.

Apparently it is said that a very good tai kam che will be able to talk and sing and do everything else at the same time, and she's got to showcase all her talents so that you know, you get your monies worth. But that woman just can't stop talking, and I wondered where the words in her vocabulary flew out from. Every single line she said was peppered with the traditional Chinese-four syllable phrases, and every wish for prosperity and love and everlasting auspiciousness was crammed into loud and very 'musical' chants. She even SANG! Damn it.

I've a problem with Karaokes with weddings all right? I don't quite mind karaokes that much, I'm very much a karaoke fan myself (yeah so very ahlian, so?), but I've got a problem when you can't bloody sing and you tell the dinner crowd, 'I'm going to sing a song so you please tell me if I can sing very well okay?'

And then after the song, (did she sing well? Think not.) the tai kam che was fishing for compliments. 'Eh clap lah, don't like also must clap, it's like this, you have to tell me I'm singing well otherwise I won't sing one you know.'

And after they clapped, (I was too busy eating), she went on, 'Okay since you loved my song so much I'm going to sing another song, and you are going to love this one.'

GAH.

I told Eric, 'I don't want this at my wedding.'

Eric said, 'I bet most of the girls here are thinking that.'

So anyway, it then dawned upon me that usually the appearance of such vital figures such as the tai kam che are probably prerogatives of parents and elderly relatives who will not accept a 'no' for an answer. Some Chinese who're very rooted in their traditional ways still believe that it is very very very important to have the presence of a tai kam che, so that you won't do the wrong things at an occasion as important as a wedding. 'Whole life thing you know, you think what? Afturds got mistake and next time marriage got problem how? Better do it lah, later regret than you know.'

'I'm still not going to have a tai kam che, and no karaoke at my wedding, okay?' I told Eric, pouting a bit lah.

'Who you're telling lah?'
'You of course.'
'What's the use of telling me lah?'
'Dunno lah you're here mah just tell you lah.'
'IS THAT SO?'
'I THINK SO.'
'Sure you don't have any ulterior motives?'

And just to prove that I'm not thinking about other things, I'm just going to say it here too: my wedding, no tai kam che, no karaoke.