just minishorts.

Oh. I was on leave yesterday to tend to some important matters.

It was very fruitful. I am very pleased. Looks like some things are going to change around here, for the better of course.

p.s.: YOU NEVER KNOW WHO READS YOUR BLOG!!

Tee hee.

We have our fair share of brickbats, and that is all very fine. An opinion in a comment is an opinion, no less, but there are good comments and bad comments. Good comments are the type that cause you to think and ponder on your words, they make you sit back and say, 'Hey I didn't think of that,' when you didn't do enough research on a topic, the types that even when they are in conflict with your own principles, you'll still nod your head in respect and say, 'Well to each his own.' Without, of course, too much sniggering at the other person.

After all, we humans tend to think the world ourselves: sure we're equal with the rest of the world, but in reality, I'm on a different plane from all of you, so don't kid with me here. Sure you have a point, but my version is the way, this is how it is going to be, so you can go ahead with your pompous nonsense for all I care, I have no problems with that.

But never mind that, we still try to be as civil as possible, and strive to provide, as best as we can, an understandable and reasonable conversation that makes sense, and lacks hostility. Which is all very well. That's what makes up a good debate, you'll probably have cartloads of people coming in with differing opinions (some drastically so), and there'll be some overexcited people getting all excited and furious for all the wrong reasons, but at least, you can rest easy that all these ideas, while contradicting with each other, are all GOOD. They're logical, and sensible, and you know that these people deserve your attitude. These comments make good reads and it's hard not to like them even though they're obviously not-for-you.

Unfortunately, there are bad comments. These are the ones that you'll get almost every single day and tell you, 'You should do this, you should do that,' and don't leave a 'because' after that. They say they hate you but they never fail to pay you a visit every day.

Bad comments come from anonymous cowards who're too chicken shit to leave a proper email address and masquerade behind changing IP addresses. They scream, 'You chao ci bai niabu…' but leave no reason as to why you have a smelly cunt and mother. Bad opinion-providers come in with the intention of making you look bad but end up scolding God instead, 'Jesus, I can’t believe you’re still around. What a retarded blog! Fucking die already….'

Bad debators are of course the types who can't come up with good excuses even, but resort to screaming 'You don't even know who your father was and you have a kiamsiap ugly bf, you stupid pimply face self-professed virgin biatch,' and expect you to take them seriously. And when you don't, these people go to other places and leave a trail of mud… banging on mirrors and glasses, hoping to be recognized and heard. And taken seriously.

Why Scalzi is god? Because here, he said this:

Yup, I suck. However, I don't talk straight out of my ass, which is what you're doing here.

And may I also add, everywhere else.

Oh also, sometimes, bad comments also appear in other, more intelligent costumes. They're so articulate you almost want to take notice of them. But then suddenly, a silly line pops up in their valuable comment, which goes something like this. 'A fine line must be drawn there (when you blog), you don’t want opportunists to come in and wreck havoc at the relationship when it’s at it’s lowest point.'

Or this, 'Lastly if some one wants to keep their life personal , why have a blog about it???'

Or this, 'She herself can’t keep it objective and always keep thinking that it is about her…..A discussion with her is like talking to a hair dryer. Hot air is what you get.'

Or this, 'You didn’t side with reason, you sided with a friend. You accuse others of name calling but you ignored the fact that he started hurling insults at the public first. We’re not stupid. We have eyes and we can see for ourselves.'

WOW GENIUS, I'M SO TOUCHED YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT WHO I BEFRIEND AND HOW MY BLOG AFFECTS THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE YET YOU HAVEN'T CARED TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE FACT THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I'VE NEVER MET YOU IN MY LIFE BEFORE. AND EVEN IF I HAVE, I DON'T GIVE THE FUCK CARE WHETHER YOU LIVE TODAY AND DIE TOMORROW. FOR ALL I CARE YOU'RE JUST A FACE, SOMEONE WHO EXISTS AND READS MY BLOG JUST BECAUSE YOU LEFT A COMMENT.

If I went around town assuming that everyone reads my blog, I'd turn into a schizophrenic nut.

So I'll give it to them, I think these people can really speak their minds, unfortunately they're not too clever in realizing what it means 'to draw a fine line', but they're pretty clever in telling us that we have to draw a fine line. Like so helpful, comelah, I give you a pen you draw that line for me and see? (Now THAT is a stupid rejoinder, but like must be rebutted with like.)

I can't quite find the right words to win a battle of opinion-sumo with such nosy busybodies, I'm not so fluent in my writing, so I'll let just one paragraph from Scalzi do the talking for me,

'Complaining that people are not writing in a disinterested fashion on their personal blogs is like complaining that water is wet; likewise complaining that people champion the efforts of their friends and acquaintances on their personal sites is pretty damn stupid. People write whatever the hell they want on their blogs; most blog readers, I suspect, are smart enough to understand they are reading a personal site and grasp what that entails. The vast majority of my readers do, in any event. The fact you don't is interesting.'

And you were saying again?

You know sometimes I really wonder what goes through that mind of his. Granted, I am NOT an easy person to fall in love with, neither am I the perfect girlfriend who'll help someone breeze through a relationship. Perhaps it's all well that most relationships aren't built on a bed of roses, but sometimes, I think it takes immense patience to be with someone who happens to be a blogger, well-known for all the wrong reasons.

Sometime we have Gold-quality conversations, the types that you'll remember forever and ever, and you'll keep tiny folders of these logs in your mind's HDD, and sometimes, rewind the lines over, and over, again, when you need that reminder that, well, he really cares for me.

And of course, you keep memories of the ugly snippets too, the ones that make you think, if he loves me why he does this to me.

So we go through cycles of these, again and again, and in recent months, I've learnt not to be so quick to respond to other people. I don't know why, but somehow, recently, I tend to take a longer time in providing a response, and occasionally, you'd think I'm pondering other things before providing a calculated remark. It's not necessarily a bad thing, all too often I've found myself regretting the words I spew whenever I say them too quickly, and usually if I consider my sentences first, the peace is maintained. Hey I'm learning here, it's hard to change bad habits, but I think this is a good step.

So anyway just yesterday, we were talking about something pretty hilarious over the phone, and then midway through, there was a pregnant pause as I stopped to consider what I should say first. He cut in before I could blurt it out, 'Eh you're not thinking about blogging this, are you?'

'Huh?'
'Yeah you're going to blog this. Again. Oh no.'
'Eh no. I don't blog everything lah.'
'Yes you do.'
'No I don't. I didn't blog about xxx and I didn't blog about yyy. So I'm not going to blog about zzz.'
'Hah. Well, just in case. And you were going to say?'
'I forgot.'

I know it's hard dating a blogger, but we have our moments, and we try not to talk about this (in)significant part of my life. After all, the other parts are far more important.

…

Oh, and the short snippets I have with other people.

minishorts says:
who the FUCK is applepie
minishorts says:
suddenly go and accuse me of shit
minishorts says:
why would i use 'anonymous' to drop a comment
ET says:
dunno
ET says:
….
minishorts says:
i'm not so free to do this shit lah, idiots man
ETsays:
man, next theyre gonna accuse you of contacting aliens and commanding them to attack earth
minishorts says:
hahahhah that's good one
minishorts says:
TROLLS!!!!! ATTACK!!!!!
ET says:
gee we should blog bout this
ET says:
only i think the end result would be worse
ET says:
but damn..it would have been damn fun
minishorts says:
don't care
minishorts says:
end result worse mah worse lah
minishorts says:
it shows them how pathetic these ppl are.

I woke up later than usual today and decided to give the gym a miss. Mum had gone out earlier for her morning walk, and seeing that the house was empty, I thought I'd dilly-dally a little.

It isn't always I get to do this, you know, just stand in front of the wardrobe, dreaming a little, and thinking of what to wear for the day. Today as I looked through the rows of clothes, it hit me that this was probably the 4th set of clothes that I'm wearing in my entire lifetime. Right at the top of the cupboards are plastic-bags of old baby clothings that Mum decided would be suitable for my kids when they grow older, and some other pretty stuff that I used to wear when just a girl, and just a teenager.

I'm still wearing some of the stuff I had when I was in my teens, mostly jeans really, and one or two evergreens that I can still fit into. But when just a kid, I had four sets of the turquoise pinafore, and at least five white blouses for the daily trip to school. That's not too long ago, only eight years back, the most.

Has it been so long, really? That time flies, that's pretty hard to swallow. No I'm not in denial really, but it's really hard to take all that in when I've never really left school. I still meet teachers every day, every week, (most of my colleagues are ex-teachers, and the freelancers are teachers); I still keep most of my books from high school, English namely, especially the ones where the layout designs are great, or the passages are reading-gems, except for a different purpose of course. You know what it's like being a kid in a Malaysian school, you'd have stacks of secondary school revision books from publishers like Sasbadi, Fajar Bakti, Longman… and how you'd keep getting all these books and mull over them like a bending armadillo and when you've just bought them how fervently you would swallow up the first few pages…. alas they're just new brooms, they sweep clean, but only for a while. Months later after the exams you'd sell/give them all away and never look back.

I'm different, I've never had the chance to give them away and never look back. Every single day I consider the irony of the fact that I consider these books more seriously than I used to when a child, and every time I remember how I'd curse 'the stupid author' for writing the loads of bullocks in those pages, I chuckle at the knowledge that I'm being paid to produce such bull shit. It's not that I didn't have a choice, I believe I used to have a choice but somewhere along the way I became a typical cynic and decided not to bother anymore. After all, it pays the bills.

Today I looked at my clothes, and the absence of the old school uniforms and the club polos, the presence of the nicer clothes, and I realized I needed other things, like power-suits (those I don't always wear, we don't require them here), and more slacks, maybe a nice kebaya or two, and some expensive pieces for the special occasions. You know, life is going to change a litle around here, and maybe, just maybe, I can get rid of those high-school books after all. Finally.

minishorts: i forgot to tell you
minishorts: mahai today i had to shower TWICE
minishorts: stupid naked woman was in the shower today
minishorts: THAT STUPID WOMAN NEVER DRAWS HER SHOWER CURTAINS
Elaine: whahahahahahahaha
minishorts: NABEH
minishorts: and i had the fortune of walking past her cubicle
minishorts: just as she was washing off the shampoo on her hair.
Elaine: hahhahaha
Elaine: did u curse her? u must!
minishorts: i'm going to blog about this.
minishorts: damn fucking tulan ok