But would you do it?
Filed under Just Me
I read this and many questions popped up in my mind.
I think it's pretty obvious by now that I'm by nature a very conservative person. Some people consider me quite religious as well, but let's not dwell on that issue for now. But LMD's post did get me thinking, and I thought about a few scenarios that could have happened of course.
Sometimes I do think that I could really get a little loose around here, you know. Get explicit and all, talk about the things that happen in our lives that go beyond the usual necking and fondling. Obviously it's the kind of things that happen behind closed doors, but here again, I've got to reiterate this. We're by nature very conservative people, and I usually blush at the sight of naked people on TV.
Really.
What did I type there? Did I say necking?
OK I take that back.
But anyway, yes, I've been thinking about it. You know, I've learnt from people, experiences, listened to stories and gossips, about the sinful things that happen in our twenty-something yuppie-styled lives. It's not so innocent anymore. The kind of things that best-girl-pals can do, the strange happenings behind closed doors, that not-so-innocent smile you see that girl in the bar give this guy you know from work. The colleagues in the huge organization you used to work in, and the rumours that fly around the corners, that A is sleeping with B, that B used to fuck C. The things that happen that once upon a time, when you were younger, you thought they'd only happen on episodes of Ally McBeal.
Suddenly you're a living character in your very own episode of Sex In The City and you cannot help this, seriously, you eye your friends talking to each other and you wonder, 'Are they? Were they? Could they?'
…
So this one's for the women.
With many of your close friends being of the opposite gender, and with many of the topics you share being 'extra-sensitive' topics, which we usually regard as jokes (not so clean ones), did it ever occur to you that you could perhaps enjoy his presence, with a little bit more… spice?
Did you ever wonder?
Would you sleep with a friend?
…
Its easier for me to talk about this now that I'm openly loyal to a single partner only and proudly chaste (which I hope you believe). But before this, when I was single and not looking, yes of course, suddenly you start to wonder, what was that wink, was that a stare? And it's not even about being self-conscious.
Because there's no mistakening the longer lingering of his touch on your wrist, that look in his eyes when you look at each other, not smiling. There's no doubt to the meaning of the way he helps you put on your necklace, or the way he allows you to straighten his necktie for him. The single fleeting moment that you allowed him to play with the nooks and crannies of your ear, the times the platonic friend suddenly morphed into someone potentially possible, just because he bent over and helped you tie your shoelaces and allowed his fingers to rest around your ankle. Or that time when he leaned over and traced his finger across your neck, as he 'admired' the locket you were wearing, dangling a little lower than it normally would.
The guilty thing is, we've all been there before.
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Apr21
April 21, 2006 at 6:21 pm
This happened way before I met my current.
My really good friend (and still is) said to me, “Can I hug you to sleep tonight? I’m not used to not hugging anything to sleep”. We were spending a night at Genting with like 5 other friends. My friend volunteered to be hugged but he asked me instead for permission to hug me.
Back then, I didn’t give his action a second thought because we were very good friends. But now, when I think of it…I wonder if he did have a slight liking for me that time. Haha.
Of course, he’s happily attached now and we still chat like mad ppl and open up about every darn thing we have in mind. Come to think of it, I don’t think I would’ve crossed that invisible line and jeopardise our friendship UNLESS we’re both damn drunk.
Same thing happened to one of my gal pal…they eventually got together BUT broke up a year later.
April 21, 2006 at 8:44 pm
it’s no wonder you feel like bedding your pals, they’re all probably out of your league compare to you….feel like having what you can’t have? try plastic surgery first
April 21, 2006 at 10:50 pm
I’ve never crossed that line, at least not to the extent of bedding that person.
I know that it has happened to a friend before, though, and right after that they found it weird when they wanted to converse with each other. Friendly night outs became awkward, and they were afraid to have drinks with each other as they were worried of the effect of alcohol might cause them to be too intoxicated and end up in bed with each other again.
P/s : necking?
April 22, 2006 at 2:10 pm
No way!! friends can never have sex with each other. in any case, they are called acquaintances. Friends are supposed to respect each other – that’s when you learn to trust and be comfortable with each other.
I think it’s not about being conservative – it’s about your moral values. You only have sex with people that you love. Having sex with friends only serves to disrespect, even if it’s about being fun.
I can never imagine how friends can still continue to be friends even after havin sex. Yucks! So do they go like,”last night very shiok hor. let’s have a cup of coffee and discuss about it and then chat.”
EERKkss.
April 22, 2006 at 4:35 pm
I guess most women will never be as sexually liberated as men, no matter how much you girls try.
April 22, 2006 at 6:25 pm
wow..
Q:wud i do it?
A:no…never..impossible..
even dating frenz (at their request,mind) causes problems…
April 23, 2006 at 11:16 am
Really can’t see what the fuss is about? Dating friends isn’t all that bad right????
*confused*
April 23, 2006 at 1:22 pm
*nods solemnly*
yup guilty.
But would i ever do it?
Oh no no no no no no ……is it possible for 2 friends, after bedding each other, to be normal friends again the next morning? lol, i wouldn’t know, i’ve never tried.
April 23, 2006 at 2:10 pm
“proudly chaste”
April 23, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Goodness, Skay is telling us she bonked her friend last time.
I wonder how does S-kay’s current boyfriend feels now if he found out Skay bonks her friends.
So humiliating and embarassing to have your current girlfriend to go commenting on other people’s blog that she bonked her friends before.
Malu sial…. no eye see…..
April 24, 2006 at 1:48 am
Why are you so bitter about S-Kay’s experience? As far as we’re concerned, it’s for her to sort it out with her current partner if there was anything to be sorted out in the first place. Grow up, it’s people like you who don’t get presented experience like this.
April 24, 2006 at 10:27 am
I’d like to think that once friends bed each other, a line has been crossed.
Things are never going to be the same again.
I value my friendship with my guy friends and I’d like to think that the reason why they have never tried anything funny with me is because they feel the same.
April 24, 2006 at 11:56 am
senbai could be wrong. It *could* be otherwise.
April 24, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Skayslut : I bonked my friend? Since when?
April 24, 2006 at 11:39 pm
yes.
April 25, 2006 at 12:09 am
sex is over-rated.
April 25, 2006 at 3:38 am
She was hot, I wanted her. I didn’t want a relationship but I enjoyed her company. IMHO, it’s OK if everyone’s an intelligent, consenting adult. But be very very sure that she knows what she’s doing. If you’re a gentleman and someone with morals, verify that your expectations match hers, i.e. a spicy friendship. If you suspect that the “R”-word might raise it’s ugly head, for the sake of your honour and hers, don’t act on your baser impulses.
Also my two cents worth: Malaysian girls, no matter how ‘open-minded’ you/they think they are, are still Asian. The friend who will sleep with most likely already likes you as more than a friend. Don’t break her heart. Friendship is worth more than a few extra-curricular sessions.
April 25, 2006 at 12:33 pm
Sexual tension between friends? Next thing you know you’ll be asking us about astrophysics.
April 25, 2006 at 2:22 pm
I have this male kolig that used to nudge me on my arm. My heart would go pumping 5x faster. *Gosh!….
April 27, 2006 at 6:28 am
A good example would be to watch When Harry Meet Sally. But i dont think our asian culture will end up like the happy ending in the movie.
May 20, 2009 at 2:24 pm
i love asian girls they are so hot