just minishorts.

Road Kill by MoonGirlNYC

You might notice I'm speaking in blotted outbursts now and then, but it's all natural, the things that come to mind.

Maybe after that story so openly shared, a few heartstrings were tugged on, and maybe it wasn't such a good idea sharing it anymore.

You know the thing about that particular relationship was the way that it had all abruptly came to an end. I stopped crying the moment I became a new person again, someone who was less devoted to a relationship, who was less deliberate in making things work the way I wanted them to work. See, I thought I was a focused person, the kind who lived by a 'do-or-die' principle. And at that particular point in time, it was 'wait until he comes back'.

Of course I got bored, and there were so many other leng chais along the way who all seemed to be interesting characters, and who seemed to be interested in the siao char bo that I was (still am) then, so I guess, one day, I just forgot.

So bad hoh, me?

I wonder if he read what I wrote. It's only natural to wonder.

And when you walk on journeys of wondering, you think about too many things. Does he read about me? Does he know where I am? Does he see the photos I paste? What does he think? Does he regret it? Does he feel pride–that he had a part in my heart once?

It's only natural to ask questions.

You see it's awesome when a relationship sprouts and blooms, but it's sad when it wilts. It's even sadder when a relationship bursts out in destructive flames and becomes reduced to nothing but dust. Completely habis, just like that. Worse than strangers.

That's why its sad.

I don't ever want that kind of thing to happen to any of my future relationships. NEVER EVER. And every day I commit this special tie I have with Eric to Him, so that there's someone I can trust and believe in to take us through our everyday trials. At least we have a guiding light, at least we're not so blind in this journey we've decided to take together.

Yeah. I'm dreamy like that. So surreal-hoh?

Sometimes, random readers write to tell me how they like my writings, and a kind word is always a nice thing to have during a dreary working days. I know the recurring message, 'You're raw, you're so real. You rant a lot, but at least, it's heartfelt. I can feel your honesty.'

It's so nice to hear, I want to thank you all. But I think, it's so strange. How can anyone be unreal? I don't like to sit down to doctor my tales, the things I write are heartfelt because I need to seek a release of things, and I'm not sure why God made me so darn emotional.

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I guess, with this stupid tendency to dramatize almost all situations I land myself in, I learn how to tell stories.

Odd, isn't it?

Maybe, one day I'll just forget, and then, I don't have to keep this blog anymore. And you know what? I quite like that idea.

So you know here, when I do get to let this whole thing go, it would have mean that I've made it, I've arrived at that finishing point. And that it's all over, I'm a new person, and there are so many nice things in my life, I no longer need a virtual sanctuary that has become my open platform for pent up rantings. Then maybe, I can finally say goodbye.