Comments on: In the meantime… http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/ this time, we're keeping it simple. Tue, 02 Dec 2008 03:24:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: daniel http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27682 daniel Thu, 05 Oct 2006 08:59:17 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27682 Nice post. Pls allow me to share my thoughts. I think changes are inevitable but the key is to change with your partner and with the different responsibilities that come during the different phases of your lives. My wife and I come from very different backgrounds but fortunately share some common life values. We have both made adjustments to our lifestyles built on these shared values. After a while things gets settled down, the excitement dwindles and we begin to take things for granted. I never realised how much I feared losing her until she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo surgery and several months of chemotherapy. She had actually become so much a part of me without me even realising it! Nice post. Pls allow me to share my thoughts. I think changes are inevitable but the key is to change with your partner and with the different responsibilities that come during the different phases of your lives.

My wife and I come from very different backgrounds but fortunately share some common life values. We have both made adjustments to our lifestyles built on these shared values. After a while things gets settled down, the excitement dwindles and we begin to take things for granted.

I never realised how much I feared losing her until she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo surgery and several months of chemotherapy. She had actually become so much a part of me without me even realising it!

]]> By: Robert Heng http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27623 Robert Heng Wed, 04 Oct 2006 14:22:10 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27623 Simply love this post. Simply love this post.

]]> By: stev http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27459 stev Tue, 03 Oct 2006 11:23:17 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27459 love should never be about enforced change not even for the name of love we are who we are and why shortchange ourselves in any way? no... i'm not saying theres no need to compromise (at times...) but losing your core identity just because of being with someone is never right we all need our own personal space, personal friends, personal time and love... thats the final ingredient that makes it all complete love should never be about enforced change
not even for the name of love

we are who we are
and why shortchange ourselves in any way?

no… i’m not saying theres no need to compromise (at times…)
but losing your core identity just because of being with someone is never right

we all need our own personal space, personal friends, personal time
and love… thats the final ingredient that makes it all complete

]]> By: Nonnie http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27406 Nonnie Mon, 02 Oct 2006 15:04:52 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27406 Nice one. Makes me think about the changes I'd made for my ex and ended up with a total heart-break and picking up his habits and taste in movies and music.. which..is not really a good thing. Nice one. Makes me think about the changes I’d made for my ex and ended up with a total heart-break and picking up his habits and taste in movies and music.. which..is not really a good thing.

]]> By: rijac http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27403 rijac Mon, 02 Oct 2006 14:21:57 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27403 good post. one need not change their personality to be with someone. if they have to it means they are with the wrong person. for some, it is too late. good post. one need not change their personality to be with someone. if they have to it means they are with the wrong person. for some, it is too late.

]]> By: astrosurge http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27401 astrosurge Mon, 02 Oct 2006 14:00:07 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27401 Well being changed by our other half is one of my definite 'thou shalt nots'. i dont believe in such thing; changing yourself to accomodate your other half's needs. its unhealthy & damaging to the relationship as it makes the relationship fake & pretentious. That is why you lose friends/acquaintances along the way because for most people, they only accept you for being you, not for you being another. When you change, they shun away. A relationship should be genuine, relaxed & laidback. It doesnt deserve to be subjected under a stress or demands from any parties nor any circumstances. It should just go with the flow accompanied with mutual trust & respect. That is what true relationship is all about. Well being changed by our other half is one of my definite ‘thou shalt nots’. i dont believe in such thing; changing yourself to accomodate your other half’s needs. its unhealthy & damaging to the relationship as it makes the relationship fake & pretentious.

That is why you lose friends/acquaintances along the way because for most people, they only accept you for being you, not for you being another. When you change, they shun away.

A relationship should be genuine, relaxed & laidback. It doesnt deserve to be subjected under a stress or demands from any parties nor any circumstances. It should just go with the flow accompanied with mutual trust & respect. That is what true relationship is all about.

]]> By: minishorts http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27385 minishorts Mon, 02 Oct 2006 07:34:53 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27385 Dabido: I know what you mean, I've been there before. I know change is inevitable, we make adjustments to please the people we love... but the adjustments have to be comfortable, not drastic ones that take away the very essence of you being you. I know Eric hasn't changed much for me... he still hangs out with the same people, but he's expanded his circle to accomodate my friends... and so have I ... it's the same. In my past... what happened was I accomodated the new friends I made through my boyfriend, but I lost my own friends along the way. I've met people who're making the mistakes I made, and while I can attribute my old faults to youth, I can't very well blame 'love' for this drastic mutation in my friends' behaviour, because I believe very much in the positivity of love. So while I'm upset, yeah, well, I really pray and try to believe this is the best way to go. Dabido: I know what you mean, I’ve been there before. I know change is inevitable, we make adjustments to please the people we love… but the adjustments have to be comfortable, not drastic ones that take away the very essence of you being you. I know Eric hasn’t changed much for me… he still hangs out with the same people, but he’s expanded his circle to accomodate my friends… and so have I … it’s the same.

In my past… what happened was I accomodated the new friends I made through my boyfriend, but I lost my own friends along the way.

I’ve met people who’re making the mistakes I made, and while I can attribute my old faults to youth, I can’t very well blame ‘love’ for this drastic mutation in my friends’ behaviour, because I believe very much in the positivity of love.

So while I’m upset, yeah, well, I really pray and try to believe this is the best way to go.

]]> By: Dabido (Teflon) http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27381 Dabido (Teflon) Mon, 02 Oct 2006 06:13:57 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27381 <i>'Such as your personality.'</i> If I had one, I'd be worried about losing it too.! :-) Actually, it sounds very similar to my marriage (see, I'm what you would be if you did get married! Scarey!) :-) What I discovered, is if you keep changing to be everything they want you to be and you meet their every demand [except a few extremely stupid ones], in the end they still aren't happy and they leave you anyway. Though I now believe in a little compromise here and there, I don't think it's good for people to change LOTS to be with each other. It's unnatural and unhealthy. And it's especially bad if one person is the one who has to do all the changing and the other is the demanding one who refuses to change. ‘Such as your personality.’

If I had one, I’d be worried about losing it too.! :-)

Actually, it sounds very similar to my marriage (see, I’m what you would be if you did get married! Scarey!) :-)
What I discovered, is if you keep changing to be everything they want you to be and you meet their every demand [except a few extremely stupid ones], in the end they still aren’t happy and they leave you anyway.

Though I now believe in a little compromise here and there, I don’t think it’s good for people to change LOTS to be with each other. It’s unnatural and unhealthy. And it’s especially bad if one person is the one who has to do all the changing and the other is the demanding one who refuses to change.

]]> By: anonymouse http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27377 anonymouse Mon, 02 Oct 2006 04:11:27 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27377 How much did your current boyfriend change to be like you? I'm sure you've influenced him to some extent. If you haven't changed, then maybe he has changed. And maybe he's not exactly celebrating abotu the changes he's had to make to be with you? How much did your current boyfriend change to be like you?

I’m sure you’ve influenced him to some extent. If you haven’t changed, then maybe he has changed. And maybe he’s not exactly celebrating abotu the changes he’s had to make to be with you?

]]> By: pablopabla http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27367 pablopabla Mon, 02 Oct 2006 02:11:48 +0000 http://www.minishorts.net/2006/10/02/in-the-meantime/#comment-27367 In reflection and hindsight, God allowed you to go through the previous relationship so that you can be true to yourself right here and right now! :) In reflection and hindsight, God allowed you to go through the previous relationship so that you can be true to yourself right here and right now! :)

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