Celebrating International Women’s Day…
Here's a thought, actually. A part of me really tingles at all the articles, blog posts and radio commentaries I've heard so far (and I've only been awake for about 3 hours), and I really appreciate the fact that these people are all dedicating their attentions to the iconic women in our world both past and present.Yet another part of me also wants to consider this. It's probably me just being sensitive over nothing in particular, but I quite wonder whether International Women's Day also has us women acknowledging that we're rather weak in confidence, so weak we are that we have to have a Day dedicated to us. Because it is true, every single day of our lives, Int'l Women's Day included, we're submitting to the men, this world being the patriarchal society it is.
Now I'm not saying that submitting to men is a bad thing; after all, it IS Biblically sound and most religious cultures uphold the male figure anyway. Neither am I discounting the contributions of women, not just iconic ones, to this fallen society. What I am pondering is the necessity of being heard and seen via the existence of this one single day.
You see despite International Women's Day, all our lives we are taught to groom ourselves and learn the ropes of being a woman, and we grow up having our mothers more intent on having us married away compared to our fathers. We have bolder women crying foul over sexist remarks from the men, and yet everyday battered wives still hide themselves behind veiled corridors in order to protect the families they love and the husbands who abuse them. We still have Beauty Pageants that include the swimsuit section, and women still sit behind television scenes watching these pageants and comment on the lacking figures that the beauty contestants of these day boast. We still have an image problem, and slimming centres turn around our worldviews of what beauty is. Men still hunt for the prettier, slimmer creatures, and when we praise iconic women, we still have to inject the two or three adjectives that describes the physical attributes, or the clothes they wear, or the accessories they prefer.
This year I wonder why we're celebrating Women's Day actually. For some reason I feel Women's Day has become an acknowledgement of our subordination. Because we're weaker, therefore we require a day of recognition. We require the men to look and realize our strengths. And even after so many years of being in the limelight, we still require the existence of one single day where the media hypes up this whole condition of being female. The long articles and interviews written the weeks ahead of gearing up towards this one day just reflects our admission to this state of subservience. Who are we after one day? It's back to normal again, back to our insecurities with looks, our emotional baggages, wiping the tears off our cheeks, we're back to being quiet, and being subservient. Most of us, we just shut up and remain like all how good girls should, not to be heard, but just to be seen.
Pardon me but I'm not a feminist. While I like being weak and strong, and I relish in being more weak than strong most of the times. It means I enjoy it when the men pay for my meals, when the men open my doors, when the men wait for me to stand first, when the men allow me to walk with them, not have me tag behind them which always seem to happen because I'm not as tall as they are, heels slow me down and therefore I walk a little slower. I enjoy chivalry in action and it is rather disappointing to know that not many guys are gentlemen these days.
And it's not that our thoughts have progressed with societal development. Rape cases are still rising. Date rape cases are not diminishing… and each time you hear a story of molestation, there are still two sides to the story. The discouraging one remains when women from the pasar pagi still say aiyah itu pompuan pakai macam tu, serve her right also lah. We celebrate iconic women and yet married men can still find to send suggestive smses to younger, unassuming women in the work place. Sexual harassment is far from being a thing of a past.
Sometimes I think that International Women's Day should also go towards acknowledging the men who really appreciate us as the fairer sex. I want to read of the men who fight for us women, the ones who do not wait till March 8 to say 'Today we celebrate all women.' The ones who respect and acknowledge the uncredited women in their own lives, not rattle off a dozen and one important female figures to show off their general knowledge.
Where are these men? I wonder. Ironically, I can't quite think of any prominent person, any prominent man whose lives are dedicated towards ensuring women, the types that are satisfied to stay behind in their homes and quiet workplaces , get the due recognition they deserve.
Then again, maybe, I am feminist after all.
March 8th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Don’t look at me, I just finished cleaning the house and took out the stuff from the fridge to cook dinner for tonight. After all…a man’s house is his castle, that is until his queen comes home.
March 8th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Your fill of degenerate, base humor…
It’s as simple as that, it’s a drunk squirrel and a drunk cat. Because we’ve sunk to that level and eventually we aren’t coming back. God I’m lonely.
……
March 8th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I’m setting myself up for flame… but I type out what is currently swirling around my brain.
Let me state for a fact that I love my Mum and my wife. I love them and respect them deeply.
Moving on. I have to agree with Cerita Pendek that (in my opinion) having a “Woman’s Day” sort of indirectly acknowledges that women are subordinate to men.
HOWEVER Mini… I think the biggest catch-22 of all, is not the fact that there is an International Women’s Day… it is the fact that women give so much thought into everything. Paralysis by over analysis. Have a day… it makes you ponder deep… remove the day… it makes you ponder even deeper (”oooh… was it a conspiracy by men to remove that one day that acknowledges us?”). So remove it or continue with it… I am sure women around the world are cracking their heads trying to figure out whether it was a good move to begin with.
What do the guys think?… well… I can’t speak for all guys… but I’ll speak for myself. Honestly, I can’t be bothered what day it is today. I wake up every morning respecting my wife for every way that she is different from me… I go to work and acknowledge all my colleagues (males and females) for their qualities and skills. So whilst 30% of my female colleagues might now be sitting on their office chairs pondering about the whole idea of International Woman’s Day… I look around… and I see a bunch of male colleagues who don’t seem to give it a second thought.
Someone even asked if there was an International Men’s Day. One of the guys answered, “Don’t know… don’t care.”
So… (sorry for digressing)… I think the fact that women put so much thought and emotion into everything is the biggest catch-22 of all. If they just let it be… go with the flow… be the bloke… say insensitive things to get ahead in life… it might just work.
ALAS… women are NOT like that. At least the women I know and care for. So… there’s the catch…
March 8th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
AWM User:
cheh actually the only reason i wrote this post was because i read the papers and i thought, ‘aiyah why write this just because it’s women’s international day..’
and then after that my colleague called and told me’ Hey it’s international women’s day…’
and then after that my boss said, ‘oh i forgot it’s international women’s day … otherwise i would have bought roses for all the women…’
And then later another colleague said, ‘oh it’s so wonderful that it’s int’l women’s day…
you get that in a 1-hour span and see how i got driven to write this long rant..
just like how ,,, ironically, reading this post made you write such a long comment haha.
March 8th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
… circle of love…
ironic… and around and round we go.
March 8th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
if no recognition, they make noise,
got recognition they also make noise.
you don’t buy flower, they make noise
you buy flower, they say it’s a waste of money
very complicated, this creature called women.
wish they just shut up, that would be the day.
March 8th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
I am wondering why women ALWAYS feel that they are being treated unfairly? What is so grave the sin of man that you need to have a World Women’s Day, International Woman’s Day and whatever else?
So we are chauvinistic. But are we really? Haven’t men always treated other fellow men and women equally, albeit differently? Differently, yes. But NOT unfairly. You expect us to treat you ladies the same way as our mates? Are you nuts?
Do you really want to spend hours talking to us about football, cars and other women? Do you really want to pay for your equal share of the restaurant bills EVERYTIME? You really wanna open the door for us each time? You wanna start sending us roses and chocolates?
Come’n ladies. GET REAL! Walk the friggin talk. You want us to treat you like men, fine. Grow a beards, trim your goatee, scratch your crotch and give me five. Or else, just shut up ladies.
March 8th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Actually, the main culprits in ensuring women don’t get equal treatment are women themselves. Some of you fellas ask for double standards. Can’t exactly have the pie and eat it you know.
March 9th, 2007 at 2:57 am
when we 1st got acquainted last wknd, i recalled u saying tat u wanted 2 cut down on readership of ur blog ar? aisay girl, wit provocative articles like these, tat looks unlikely. juz lookit at de nos of comments left on tis post.
btw, i’ll refrain from adding my 2 sens to it.
o did i mention tis? u write very well. kudos.
March 9th, 2007 at 8:06 am
steven: 9 is very conservative lah… hahahaha…
March 9th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Showoff!
March 9th, 2007 at 10:19 am
We’re not asking for men to treat us like men. We’re asking for men to treat us like women.
Respect us as women. Be gentlemanly to us as women. Care for us as women.
March 9th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
eRin,
And when have we not?
March 10th, 2007 at 1:16 am
Hi Minishorts,
I was just thinking that the importance of celebrating International Women’s Day was indeed to recognize how far we are from equality. There is still a need for empowered women to stretch out and empower other women. Women suffer a great deal around the world even in our own society as you have noted, and it is up to those who know a better life to show that way to others (men included ^_^).
I think that on this day, we as women begin to focus more on these issues than any other time and perhaps this is another reason for this special day. It is a time for us to gather together and really think about the various aspects of our society that have served to encourage the notion of women as inferior and think of the ways in which we in our daily lives can abolish these practices/ideas. Women have always watched out for each other, forming intimate circles that helped us survive in the male dominated world. For the first time we have enormous amount of opportunity to achieve our dreams something our mother may not have had. We should wisely use our new found authority; we need to embrace this freedom yes, but not to forget that there is still a long way to go.
Perhaps we can raise our daughters (nieces, neighbors, any little girl you can mentor) to discover their talents and not seek marriage as the height of our existence. We can think about how we raise our sons for that matter…they grow up to be the men we have brought them up to be. We can contribute our time and earnings to women owned businesses and organizations that work to empower women. We can examine ourselves and see what aspects of ourselves prevent us from being the women we *know* we can be. In short it’s a day of celebration, examination and activism. We need this day. ^_^
(see Proverbs 31, then check out this site http://www.suzeorman.com/). lol
March 10th, 2007 at 1:27 am
FYI: If you visit http://www.suzeorman.com/ Try to open a Save Yourself savings account. The code is 701. I went to this talk that Suze Orman had and she gave out the code so people who couldn’t buy her book could still be able to open an account. She, her company or her publisher does not receive any profit from this. I checked it out.
I think this account is an amazing idea! After 12 months, the bank gives you $100. why? what’s the catch? no catch! This is a company owned by women who are care about empowering women financially. There are other companies like this out there; we just have to find them. ^_^ As women we naturally care about everyone else often to our own detriment. This is something you can do for you as a woman that will empower you to continue being amazing.
March 10th, 2007 at 2:11 am
Hello people.
I don’t really think that International Women’s Day is really all about the war about the sexes or whatever. This is not the day for women to ‘roar’ and for men to sit around and feel defensive or stupid shit like this.
Seriously.
I am a woman. I have an education. I have a job that makes me work 12 hours a day on average. I make enough money to support myself and buy the things that I want to buy. Sure, in this country, not everything is equal or fair or just. But that’s the way life is. You can’t have everything. I am surviving. I am thriving. I am not suffering.
In my life, I’ve met lots of guys who have treated me right and treated me fine. Sure, they ain’t perfect. But my motto is “If you can live with MY crap, I’ll live with yours”.
Let’s face it. Girls, we call them “arseholes, liars, cheats” .. and guys, you call us “chicks, tits and ass”. We could all do with a little bit more respect. We all have our moments and we all have our issues.
I am just ticked off cause I’m really TIRED and everyone seems to be missing the POINT.
I don’t know about you la … but isn’t International Women’s Day about SERIOUS issues about women like RAPE, GENITAL MUTILATION, BRIDE BURNING, WOMEN TRAFFICKING, etc, etc
because really …
we have women all over the world who are suffering, have their bodies violated, the rights ignored, their genitals cut off with unsterilised razors & without anaesthesia.
women who are married off at 6, forced to have sexual intercourse when their bodies are ill able to cope with it, some burnt by greedy in-laws over dowry issues, killed by their own family members for being raped.
baby girls murdered at birth.
women abducted and sold off as brides and have the tendons in their feet cut so that they cannot run away.
women who are lured into prostitution or kidnapped and sold off as slaves.
women who go through all kinds of suffering and discrimination simply because they are women and are held hostage in their state of misery, poverty and neglect
simply because they are women. because the societies around them that are suppose to protect them, fail them and render them helpless to stand up for themselves.
and i’d like to think that Internation Women’s Day was a day to raise awareness about these women. because they are PEOPLE and HUMAN BEINGS who are unfairly and unjustly treated who just HAPPEN to be women.
and i’d also like to think that we, men AND women, can actually start to CARE about these individuals.
and yes, I know that even in developing countries, women are still not paid equally to that of their male counterparts, women still are not present in equal numbers in business or politics, and globally women’s education, health and the violence against them is worse than that of men (yes, I CTRL-Ced it from somewhere).
but things ARE improving. Because people became AWARE. Let’s just keep it up k?
So.
I have to wake up tomorrow and WORK on Saturday even though I have a 5-day job, because I have access to equal oppurtunities and everyone’s got to fucking pull their weight.
Sorry about the rant … It got really long and maybe I should go post this on my own blog … but I’m too tired ..
so you all can just read it here la. Toodles.
March 12th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Just so scorkes knows that someone bothered to read that…
exactly. exactly. EXACTLY.
thanks for taking the trouble to point out that IWD is not at all a matter of He Said She Said.
March 13th, 2007 at 12:40 am
well said scorkes!