life, love, *motherhood, and then more
Archive for August, 2007
GOing off to Ipoh
Aug 28th
I'm off to Ipoh for a bowling match tonight.
HAH.
Strange job I have leh….
Isn’t it funny? This feeling inside…
Aug 27th
Its a silent trembling each time I hear the words being spoken, and then I wonder why is it that resentment seems to creep into my heart.
It's the knowledge that while you keep saying 'I don't care if people bother about me or not,' and actually feel as if you mean it, but when you keep looking for caring words from the person who claims to love you, but get nothing in return… then you start to wonder.
Why am I so weak?
I don't like being weak. I want to be strong. It's been such a long wait, and it's finally here, I should be rejoicing… and hey, what was I expecting? I meant it when I said it didn't matter.
…
But I guess, it matters after all. So when the mirror came up before me, why was I crying? I said it didn't matter, but right now, those feelings are roaring back at me. Denial, my dear girl, it's denial that has placed you here, and so, now, what are you going to do about it?
Style, Quality, Excellence…
Aug 25th
Gaya, Mutu, Keunggulan.
Inilah dia, kumpulan promoter giler-gaya terbaru keluaran LP106!
Ego oh!
Aug 25th
One conversation from the past:
'You know why I love talking to girls like you?'
'Why?'
'No I don't know. Girls like you seem to like guys like me a lot.'
'Huh?'
'Really really. It's true. Girls like you really like to date guys like me.'
(wtf) 'Really?'
'It's true. I've had tonnes of girlfriends who are exactly like you.'
'Oh really…'
'And I really, really love dating them.'
'REALLY? And why is that so?'
'Well because girls like you give me all the reason in the world to start dumping them.'
'OHHHHHHHHHHHHH I SEEE. And you're sure about that?'
'It's true. Girls like you really like guys like me.'
'Wow.'
-_-"
Biggest display of an overinflated ego I've ever, ever, ever, ever experienced in my entire life.*
Oish, procrastination a sin?
Aug 23rd
You know there are a few things that keep going on through my mind recently. Like the challenges of swimming against the tide (where I work), and working in an environment where minds have been literally set in stone. I get those questions all the time, you know, me, being Chinese, young, female, everyone asks, why do I do what I do?
Its even more ironically relevant when Merdeka is just around the corner and friends of all colours, sizes, and ages ask me the same damned question in different deliveries?
Why the heck do we do this? Haiyoh. So trivial lah. And the thing is, it really took me two damned years to realize that the answer that I had dangling around in my mind really isn't obnoxious at all, as long as I keep saying it again and again and again.
A job is a job is a job.
People will talk. People WILL talk. People will ask questions, and people will wonder.
Anything to get the job done. Let's work, and then complain later. When the results are out, let's discuss where we get wrong (the pathetic thing is most people I know are too intent on the celebrations so they actually forget to complain and discuss the mistakes.)
And by the way, race, gender and age? While its unfortunate that discrimination still exists, its pathetic to see people clinging on to such an obvious waste of time. For fucks sake, all that complaining about age, gender and race (or religion, in some cases) is not going to change the fact that I'm not about to grow older (or younger), I'm not about to grow a beard and sprout a dick overnight, and I'm not about to have an ancestry blood change in the blink of a second. Why resist the things you can't change?
I think it's all an excuse to keep procrastinating. Hilarious isn't it, with all that talk about procrastination being a sin, we love to keep the habit so much we'll do just about anything just to keep it going.
