Isn’t it funny? This feeling inside…
Aug 27, 2007 in Diary-writer
Its a silent trembling each time I hear the words being spoken, and then I wonder why is it that resentment seems to creep into my heart.
It's the knowledge that while you keep saying 'I don't care if people bother about me or not,' and actually feel as if you mean it, but when you keep looking for caring words from the person who claims to love you, but get nothing in return… then you start to wonder.
Why am I so weak?
I don't like being weak. I want to be strong. It's been such a long wait, and it's finally here, I should be rejoicing… and hey, what was I expecting? I meant it when I said it didn't matter.
…
But I guess, it matters after all. So when the mirror came up before me, why was I crying? I said it didn't matter, but right now, those feelings are roaring back at me. Denial, my dear girl, it's denial that has placed you here, and so, now, what are you going to do about it?