The scary thing about commitment.
The word 'commitment' keeps resurfacing in my life every day. The more I look at it, the more powerful it becomes, the more powerful it becomes, the scarier it gets, the scarier it gets, the more terrified I get of it, the more terrified I get of it, the more I feel like chickening out.
I suppose the fact that I find 'commitment' a powerful word means good actually. It means I don't take it lightly, that I choose to see it as a word to respect, and that when I choose to give it away, I mean I will give it away. Doesn't that quite mean that I'm reliable, trustable, and that I honour my word with my own actions?
…
Eric and I are talking about marriage (yes we're still in that talking stage). I used to be frustrated like hell because it was all talk and no action, in a NATO kind of situation, I sounded like a desperado seeking justice and answers, and then today it sort of hit me. What I fear most comes from myself. It's all me, that I'm terrified of. I'm scared that the moment he asks me, I'll have to make a positive choice, and that once I make a positive choice, I can't back out.
So what's up, minishorts? What's going on in your life?
October 4th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
mini, first u gotta worry if eric is man or not cos his own gf he also no hamsap de..lolx
just kidding nia!!!
October 4th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
i reckon thats okie, after all u dont get to make this decision very often in life. enjoy the freak then!
October 4th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Get preganant first then he gotta marry you tee hee
October 5th, 2007 at 12:11 am
If you are certain, just go for it!
October 6th, 2007 at 4:45 am
It’s funny how mankind can get easily wavered by just words…
Did you know that somehow you are already committing yourself now with him?
Difference between now and then is, you have the option to break up. Though you can always file a divorce, which costs money; while it’s free when you aren’t married. Haha
There’s more to it of course, but the line is so thin, it’s quite irrelevant…in the end.
October 8th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Try this -> Go do something really crazy, whatever turns your knob (u know what I mean)Something you never done before. Something that even Eric may do more than frown at u.
Check if you enjoy it. If you do, ask yourself if you wanna keep doing it. Then ask yourself can you continue to do it even committed?
When you answer Yes!, you know ur ready for something that big as committment.
I think commitment is over rated. We’re committed to somebody at any time. We all have our parents, frens (boy or girl :)), colleague, etc in our lives. Subconsciously, we hold onto some sort of image that they see in us and we try to fulfil it. It;’s not wrong. I’m guilty of it as well. So’s everyone else.
What ur taking is just another step forward with that someone particular that’s all. So check off your list of what you would like to do but never did and see if you’re ready to move forward.