Too late to write.
I was speaking to a friend the other night about how come people sound so angry and start fighting online. Now I quite believe I do have some kind of authority on that matter, because I went through that angst rant princess phase, (and sometimes still go through it) and the Internet was an amazing place to let out the steam.
Amazing, because it works, because after you go on a typing frenzy of finger-pouncing on your poor keyboard, you're amazingly much relaxed, and you treat everyone else better. Well, everyone else, except, the poor space that you proudly call your blog, and of course you sort of collect a small compilation of very interested and intrigued readers, who're all more than ready to believe that whoever blogs is whoever you are.
Which is true of course, that angry you who blasted your fits noisily online is a part of you, so if A + B is C and therefore B is C, you are who you show yourself up to be. Interestingly, it's hard not to get pissier, when you pop by a day or two after that hideous ordeal that led to you to your little angsty soliloquay on the internet, some nosy-poker (or rather, an unasuming innocent bystander) pops by, reads your little angry rant, and decides to put in his two cents.
'Why are you so angry?'
And you get all angry all over again. MUAHAHAHa. So maybe that bystander wasn't so innocent after all, huh?
…
Well, then my life kicked in, and certain circumstances disallowed me from continuing this little tirade of neverending anger management (which means it didn't work, the blog didn't really help with anger management), so I had to stop blogging on such a regular basis. Once a week, maybe twice a month, it was fun cooling off because I was out there trying rush through deadlines and forcing myself to watch ASTRO instead of going online when I felt unhappy about work and when things got tough in the real world. And after a while, the medicine helped. Suddenly it wasn't so appealing anymore, suddenly it was fun to go out and meet friends who blog, and go, 'HUH?' when they tell you about the latest scandal that was in town.
…
So now I'm jotting down little notes on a more regular basis (I'm back to the five posts a week system, notice?), it's more fun, its more relaxed, and I don't sound like that angst-ridden bitch anymore. Its been a long journey, and this I do notice… if ever in the occasions I do sound like the whole world owes me a living, it's when I type that post in the night. It's worse when I do it at around 11 pm or nearing midnight. If I type a long post after midnight, that's it, I'll sound like an overactive hamster rushing through an endless list of stupid expletives.
Actually if you're angry just go to sleep lor. Interesting how I just found that out after so many years. Such a clever girl I am, hah. Blah!
November 20th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
The Bible says don’t let the sun go down on your anger, i.e. don’t go to sleep while still angry, because the anger doesn’t really disappear, instead it’s still there, dormant but at the same time the anger grows & GROWS until one day…booM! It all comes out like a volcanic eruption and you realise you’re still angry about the same thing, except now you’re in a RAGE
November 20th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
heh…sounds like you’re still ecstatic riding the cloud 9…with this running through your head like those scrolling news bar “i’m getting married!!!!!…”
November 20th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Or you could angrily hit on the poor keyboard but not the PUBLISH button. That way, you get to feel better, and your poor blog doesn’t suffer, LOL.
November 28th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Boy, don’t I remember. Haha! It was all good. That angsty Mini.