just minishorts.

"You know yah, now I suddenly realize what love is about… what marriage is about. It's actually quite futile,' I said.

'And then?'

'Because I can't exactly have you forever, we can't be together forever…'

'True…'

'Because you know, one day either one of us will leave each other, either because one of us dies or something else crops up, unless of course something like that happens to us at the same time, but even if we both die at exactly the same time, we know that we will be separated eventually,'
I said.

'So morbid…'

'Yah, so what I'm saying is this lor, that because I can only love you as long as I have you, as long as I have you I will love you lor…'

Love is brief like that.

Mastery completed.

One word: Zen.

In movie-speak, it was like living through a 2 night 2 days session of The Matrix, and Fearless, and Star Wars IV, V, VI and everything in between. It was understanding the meaning behind Forrest Gump and the truth of how he actually achieved so many things simply because he lived simply, and it was being inspired.

Fuiyoh.

I'm taking the Master's Course now. So we're going through theories and certains stuff that people used to say Mastery is all about, aka 'Basic 101′, 'Advanced 101′ and 'What is the Leadership Programme' etc? I dare say after the training I'll pop out having more strange words in my already cultish AsiaWorks lexicon… and I'm looking forward to that.

It's about making distinctions in a very lackasaidal world that's all about making you feel like 'you're just another soul'.

…

Interestingly in a 'no accident' way, I read CS Lewis's quote the day before I walked into the Masters course and felt it touched me in so many ways. "You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." I thought it was interesting that the first night of Mastery we talked about this, and it made me consider the manner in which I had previously allowed my emotions to use me in directing the way I created happenings in my life, rather than being conscious about having my emotions work for me. I was speaking to Eric about the effectiveness of the Basic/Advanced/LP programmes, and in my conversations with him, very much like peeling an onion, I spoke about the fact that in many occasions I felt that the courses were very much overpriced, but also how on many occasions I felt that that learnings and experiences I took home from the courses were priceless and therefore the prices tagged to the courses were really very reasonable.

We spoke also about the kinds of flack that AsiaWorks and other such LGATs enjoy and thought it was interesting how people are just so keen on defending their point of views, they confuse their identities with their point of views and how their emotions get muddled in the way, and therefore you create unnecessary tensions in friendships and relationships… or create animosity that is really quite unnecessary in the first place.

So what I'm thinking really is this: possibility several people out there have been in one way or another been approached by an over enthusiastic cult advocate of the AsiaWorks training programmes… and possibility you were annoyed, you were resistant, and alarm bells of 'Brain Wash! Brain Wash! I just lost my friend to a cult!' were flashing in bright neon lights each time a close friend of you goes, 'Hey have you been to the Basic training? Would you be open to the possibility of taking the course?'

And then possiblity you said no, and your friend suggests you take it and you think, 'WTF I don't need the course who the hell is this, what the fuck is this AsiaWorks doing, how can this be legal?'

And then you surf the net and you read from rickross and other such sites advocating how its a cult and how it brainwashes people out of their comfort socks and therefore its not good and since then it's been a tug of war between you and your crazy LP friend who keeps insisting you do the training so that you experience what he experiences… bla bla bla bla…

I'll just let a little tip here in the air lah course I pity people and all, you don't have to do the training, and it's not your friend's fault either. Yes its true, its all the fault of the company, and I'm not kidding you RM6000 is what they make out of the training, and they're not shy or embarassed about being a for-profit company that sells trainings. But let's put it this way, in this world there'll always be the ones who love self-help books, and the ones who choose religions, and there'll be the ones who choose a training programme, or others might choose to migrate and go to another country. There'll be the ones who choose Buddhism perhaps, and others might choose to convert to Islam, and some might just convert out of religion…

But is there really any harm really in allowing other people the space to at least attempt to convince you to actually consider or attempt what they have experienced without ostracising them for their enthusiasm perhaps? Won't die one mah, if you don't want don't want lah, if you open to try try lah…

…

As for me, hahahha, I'm mad like that. Of course I'm a walking AsiaWorks junkie. Maybe it's a phase, maybe it's permanent. I don't know. But I really do enjoy the trainings, I enjoy the get togethers, I enjoy staffing and I enjoy being 'in contribution' - even if it is towards the company's pockets. Its a bit like how Christians have to pay tithes and we choose to enjoy it. Its like that lah.. I like mah, and of course I hope you might like it too.

I'm only human-what.

You know it's interesting how people tend to grow into the shoes that they're given to wear… so it's true, that old saying about you'll always be able to handle whatever given situation you're in.

Like how I used to believe that I would never want to get married? Or way back when I was just 10 I told my friends that boys suck and I'll never want to kiss one?

So right now ha ha, I'm engaged and getting ready to get married soon, and there's the scary thought of what's it like giving birth coming into my head already. Eric says he wants to have babies in 2009… so its a crazy journey going into that part of the analysing, but being the kind of MM-queen I am, I can't help it, it's natural I just zone off into areas of my life not meant for thinking about!

So there's the questions - What's sex like? What's sex going to be like? How's my conversations with my mom going to be when it's open that I'm now having sex with Eric? As it is she is already being awkwardly open with her conversations and the types of food she's boiling for me. Every month, for example, I take pak-cham like every good Chinese girl does, and previously it was for health reasons, for beautiful skin, to clear pimples bla bla. Now, Mom says, 'It's to protect your uterus, to make sure you're okay…'

Just the other day I was complaining about how bitter the Pak Cham she made was and she said, 'Well you better drink it, because looking at Eric, I think you better nourish yourself more so that you've got energy… you know when husbands come home and the wife's not in the mood, it's not so good for the marriage. You don't want Eric to run outside for his needs right?'

'Errrr Mom…'

'Eh this kind of talk MUST talk one okay… so that you know why you're drinking that stuff… so DRINK.'

So anyway, that's my Mom for you. Already even Eric's aunt is being like this to me. Like two nights ago we went out for supper together, and then we were talking about naked women and naked men… and Eric's aunt was teasing him about being able to see me naked…

Eric went, 'I have the rest of my life to see her naked.'

…

The kind of conversations we have these days. I am NOT into talking about my impending sex life in the public! NOT NOT.

…

Wait, I think I just did.

OK folks, this is the man I said yes to when asked, 'Will you marry me?'

My mom was in the same room as us when I took these photos of him… after that she went, 'Oh dear, why you say yes to marry this guy lah?'

Hehe, a bit sesat, kan?

…

OK lah sometimes Eric is also damn gaya (yao yeng, or very charismatic) one… so that's why.

It's when you look at me like this when I can't resist lor, and that's why I said yes to marry you lor, so I like having my knees turn to jelly each time you stare at me like this… heheheh!