just minishorts.

Eric's grandfather passed away yesterday morning. He was 85.

Its when you see death that you truly realize the glaring distinction that defines what living is all about. One moment your loved one is breathing, talking, asking you for a drink, watching a show with you, smiling and talking to you; and then just another, and he's just a body, with the very breath of him gone from the whole soul. You're left with a 'that's it', and a painful feeling in the gut that life is never be the same again.

But life, in essence, is going to be the same, you live, you die, that's the constant in life, and nothing on earth can ever change the fact that we are born into this world to die. The question is, not how you will die, but how can you live? Not when you will die, but when will you start living?

We're all doomed, one way or another. But here's the Astro pic of the day.

Me feeling bitchy.

No accident that I'm feeling bitchy on world earth day. No I'm not going to the KL Freeze event because we're going to visit some friends and celebrate world earth day. Some of my colleagues said they will be there though so if you see some people walking around in shirts saying 'Save the firefly' or some blue-janitor-like uniform with a TNB logo on them, you know why they're there… (unless of course there's a sudden blackout…)

If you read the papers in the last few days, The Star specifically, you would have seen the full page advertisements on page 5 or 7 of the tabloid sized daily by YTL community, promoting their efforts in responding towards the call for environmental conservation. YTL Climate Change Week, and hey, it's a full-coloured ad you know, telling people to don't waste paper, don't use so much energy, telling us about some fully sponsored movie program at some swanky place (like how YTL events always are, swanky, classy, EXPENSIVE).

several version of the advertisements came out in consecutive days, how many I Can't be sure, I didn't bother to count how many, it stinks too much of hypocrisy. I mean Full Page Advertisements in the country's best selling English Daily cost over RM20 k each, plus production costs, and they're talking about Climate Change? PUHLEESE.

…

It is no secret that YTL was one of the very first companies who was awarded the highly controversial closed door negotiations that is now known to us as the curse of the Independant Power Producers. Thanks to YTL Power, the company has moved by leaps and bounds, and our friend, who proclaims to be God fearing, nature loving, Malaysian citizen has just recently indicated to the government that they should seriously think about speeding up the negotiations to allow it to build that RM10 billion two-hour fast-train link to Singapore (which we don't need).

The YTL Community page has an article about how the Fast Rail Link is good for economy. Whose economy, one wonders?

YTL thinks that by spending millions of dollars to promote that they are concerned about the climate, the people can be misnomered into believing that YTL really really loves the environment. However the people as a whole are NOT this stupid. We know (or at least, by this time you should you know), that if YTL were willing to budge on the IPP negotiations, YTL could perhaps make a bigger difference for the environment, the country and subsequently the poorer people of this nation, without having to organize expensive and swanky climate change dialogues at The Ritz Carlton to have people in expensive Armani Jackets walk in and drink from plastic mineral water bottles, all pretending to give a shit about the environment.

If YTL really wants to make a difference, why not for a start, lead a renegotiation on the IPPs. Why not YTL generate just enough power as required for this country and not contribute to the current surplus of 40% (that TNB has trouble bringing to Klang Valley that runs on low power margines)? Why not YTL consider letting go even of the highly profitable Power Purchase Agreement that is highly responsible to the phenomenal and rather recent boost in its corporation profitability?

For the unasuming, the PPA that YTL was accorded in October 1994 is expected to last 21 years. There is another seven more years to expiry. All IPPs have a fuel pass-through clause where they could pass all the cost increase to TNB while you can't assure TNB won't pass the cost to you consumers.

Unless of course the government allows the utility giant to increase its tariff so that its consumers can absorb the high capacity charges.

So if indeed the government approves for the next round of tariff hikes, remember tariff hikes will not be necessary if companies like Malakoff, Genting Sanyen AND YTL be proactive and think about us the poor folks, and be open to an IPP renegotiation to help TNB ease its rising operation costs.

…

Some people say that it is because I am working for Tenaga that my opinions are pro-TNB. 'Why save a corporate giant that is bent on sucking the money out of Malaysians?'

I fear that people do not understand the importance of keeping the providers for electricity a vertically integrated organization for as long as we can. In countries like Australia and Britain where power has been turned into a profit making business, the people have to deal with the absorption of rising fuel prices into the tariff prices, and it is extremely expensive to have power in countries like that. As long as TNB remains vertically integrated, expensive costs of operation from the businesses of distributing and transmitting power can be balanced through the profits gained from the generation business, and when the unit cost of electricity is evened out through the all three components of generation, transmission and distribution, price of electricity can be kept affordable.

Right now, Tenaga is paying atrocious amounts to the IPPs (including our great environment loving corporate giants at YTL) for whatever power they produce. In the last financial year alone payouts to IPPs came up to over RM 900 million ringgit, a spending than can be minimised should the IPP renegotiations actually continue with a humble understanding and realization that this country cannot afford to keep enriching the rich. Such as the Yeohs.

….

I'm singling out YTL of course because its not Malakoff who's doing the expensive RM20k per page colour advertisements in The Star, and neither is it Genting Sanyen who's doing some gathering of pretentious tree-huggers at the swanky Ritz Carlton hotel to discuss climate change (some more they charge RM300 per pax). It is YTL.

…

It is also no coincidence that three years ago when I was still visiting the megachurch Full Gospel Assembly, a speaker representative from YTL who shared his testimony of how being faithful to the Lord and worshipping at FGA had led him to believe that it is through true faith that great people (such as Tan Sri Francis Yeoh) are blessed. I recalled clearly the senior manager at YTL's testimony, telling of the day that they had won the award from the government to build the IPP power station. I remember him saying, 'Tan Sri Francis Yeoh fell on his knees and thank the great God Jesus for the blessings that God had bestowed upon him.'

While I must admire this tycoon for remembering to praise God and thank God in his successes, I also felt that the testimony sounded strangely unChristian. Jesus, my Lord, did not come to tell us to believe in him to be blessed. We are called, as Christians to be like Christ, so that we can bless other people.

Going back to fundamentals, When YTL won the IPP award, did he bless the rest of us?

To me, the corporation's prides in Starhill Gallery, the YTL Platinum club, the six star hotels in Pangkor Laut Resort, Cameron Highlands Resort and of course the famed Spa Heritage relaxation centres are not akin to blessing the rest of us. None of the normal minions who still have to work very hard to enjoy the next movie at GSC (preferably on Wednesday nights) can hardly afford one night's stay at the exclusively expensive Pangkor Laut Resort.

I was sick to the gut when someone from YTL told me once, that among the more christian circles in the company, YTL is also known as Yahweh The Lord.

Of course our friend the Tan Sri wastes no opportunity to praise Jesus and give public testimonies about how God has blessed him.

Y. Bhg Tan Sri, but I'm sure God has been blessing you richly, but what about you, have you taken to become a true salt and light of the world?

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How controversial have I been in this post? I have taken three years to deliberate on the content. Today, I've decided its time to end this silence. This blog post is a personal opinion and does not represent the views of my employers.

I was at the launch of the Asia Media Monitors (AMM) company yesterday and the presentation made by the Prof Jim MacNamara (UTS, Australia) did touch on certain things close to my work (and heart).

While ultimately the professor was actually trying to promote the work that AMM did for profits, it was interesting to note that professional media analysts such as AMM were now also monitoring the online media (blogs, to be specific) as a source of information. Obviously in an age where we have more information than we can handle, it has become a daily challenge for people in the communications, media and public relations industry to manage daily knowledge to support our employers and stakeholders in making the best decisions for their organizations.

In a country such as ours where the online community is beginning to enjoy recognition its important that we realize the ingredients that continue to ensure the bloggers a valid selection of the media industry. This is where bloggers as a community need to be willing enough to accept that this new-found acknowledgement can only endure if we work hard enough to move beyond the philosophical arm chair conversations. While it's not at all comfortable to explore the past, most of us do recall how ministers used to paint sweeping descriptions of bloggers as liars, or how bloggers have 'nothing better to do'. It was easy, and even valid, and possibly all right for these people to paste labels on bloggers because to an extent, it was really hard to take bloggers seriously.

The majority of conversationalists in the online community, bloggers mainly, spoke on current issues and concerns of the people. Unfortunately, bloggers, according to the Media Monitoring guys, didn't really 'drive debates', rather, bloggers followed the topics. Very much in a tag-along way, what happened was someone else, whether a politician, or something had happened, and the conversations, albeit noisy, and rackety ones were churned around in the blogosphere. The discussions on the blogs and even in the forums usually focused on the problems. This meant that bloggers were never driving the debates. Is it therefore, unfair for the so-called experts, to accuse bloggers of being inconsequential when we didn't really provide or at least, suggest solutions?

So the issue is in order for bloggers to be truly taken seriously, rather than us to continue to bask in our very recent and possibly short-lived 'moment of glory' thanks to the 12th GE, its important that we as a community live up to the challenge, and mature as online citizens who are willing to persevere in making a difference to this world. Now this all sounds very mumbo jumbo, but its really rather simple. Rather than complain, let's look at solutions. Rather than nitpick on issues, let's suggest opportunities and options. It's really not about whether a suggestion solution can work or not - the problem is, if there is a solution, what's stopping you from presenting the possibilities? One won't quite know if something can work until we actually look at the possibilities and jalankan, cuba buat dulu.

The reality is, anyone, can spin a problem and turn it into an atomic challenge. You don't have to be a blogger to be that someone - and trust me, bloggers are awfully good at spinning wars out of mini mushrooms. But if bloggers are willing to stop toeing the line and begin to actually take action - (just suggest some actions, work on providing a solution), these are the ones who will be contributing towards establishing our permanent place in the media industry.

Its about time bloggers lead the debate, and take it up a notch.

OK Show you Astro pic of the day!

We make this a regular affair ok? One silly blogger's rant, and then one relaxing picture of the Astro bunny or the late Chewie bunny just to cheer ourselves up! Yippe!!

When Chewie died, my mum was equally devastated (we spent the entire night trying to save the bunny)… I suppose it was partially due to how she first opposed the thought of getting a rabbit 'Why didn't you bring a dog back? They're more functional…' that the loss made her a little remorseful.

This post is about Mum's Astro.

Which is why when we brought home Astro (the rabbit breeder called me when I was crying and insisted that I got another one, 'Nevermind lah don't cry I give you another rabbit you take good care of this one okay?') , my mom was adamant that she would do the naming.

We went through a list.

Thunder. (it was raining heavily and there was thunder)
Rusty. (The colour of the coat).
Dusty. (Colour of the coat).
Thermos (I wanted something weird..)
Ricky (She wanted to call Chewie Ricky, but Eric didn't like it).
Seiko (some japanese name).

For some reason mum said finally, 'OK let's call it Astro!'

Sigh. To be honest, I'm not really that keen on a rabbit called Astro. I mean I watch Astro at home, and it's always, 'I'll just go see what's on Astro.'

Now it's taken on a whole new meaning to say, 'I wanna see Astro' in my home.

Anyway folks, this is Mum's Astro. Unlike Chewie, whom mom originally hated (so smelly, so much shit), this kiddo's got my mom's approval. Just yesterday she called me from home and went, 'Hey hey where did you put the camera?'

And I said, 'Err with me in the office. Why, what's up?'

'I wanna take photo of Astro lah! He's just so cute, sitting there!'

I told you rabbits were cute Mum, just that you didn't like only. Now good lah, the rabbit's yours. I just tumpang jaga only.

I still miss my white rabbit lah okay…

I don't have many problems during my monthly blues anymore (at least, not the previous hormonal issues that used to cause that caustic curse spouting seasons of the months). First it's great to have an understanding fiance in Eric (the poor boy suffers badly when I'm upset), and then its also because of a whole set of traditional prescriptives that my mom has taken to religiously preparing everything she finds out I'm bleeding.

'Your period over kah?'

'Err… few more days I think.'

'OK I cook pak zham for you, then after that I make some red date soup ok? You must drink ok?'

The problem is pak zham is blue and tastes awful, and instead of how some people take it (for only one day or so), my mom requires that I take it for 3-5 days in row, and everytime she boils it it seems to get thicker. So I was telling her, 'Eh not so thick can ah? Tastes awful you know..'

And my mom said, 'The thicker the better you need it for nourishment.'

'Don't over nourish lah.'

'You're getting married. You need it for the strength. Look at Eric, he's so hardworking at working out, so he must have a lot of strength. You must match his strength.'

'OK… let's not get there…' I go.

'What you mean don't get there? This kind of things must talk one. You must be nourished lah, since you work so late every day, imagine next time when you're staying together, and Eric comes home with needs, and you're tired, how?'

…

So you see, in my case, I've got a mother who's really a little more 'well-read' than others, and in many ways I'm not sure whether its a blessing or a curse. With mother's day around the corner… it becomes extra hard to think of what to get for her (she's always one step ahead of me. Mum hates perfumes, so its out. Flowers, she say, die too early, so those are out too. Coffrets are definitely not her type. Holiday gift baskets used to get her attention, like those fruit baskets they wrap up prettily during Raya or Christimas, but these days any type of gifts packed in a basket just get her frowning.

And then I tried the angpau - method, but I can't afford to put too much into the red packet (otherwise she'll think I'm earning too much and then ask for more each month. I can't cook (not by her standards anyway), and even if I bought jewellery, she wouldn't wear them (you've got weird taste, girl).

So right now. I'm kinda lost as to what to get her. And knowing that mom will probably have something smart to say to my actions anyway, just makes me worried.