Archive for August 2008

Counting Days

Aug 26th

A few more days to the 31st, a few more days then to the 24th (hopefully the 20th instead) or else, a few more days to the 28th, and then a few more days to the 1st. I've got a series of milestones to look forward to, there's the usual questioning (I always question), and then the realization of how times have mellowed (or some may say, weathered) this argumentative, righteous bitch living inside of me. I'm a shell otherwise, a skin-wrapped mash of organs and liquid, with strange going ons running completely out of my conscious control within me. Interestingly, my bio-clock is obviously ticking, tick tick tick (I just carried yet another baby yesterday, and he almost puked on me), but this time around I'm just glad and thankful that someone wants me to be his baby incubator too.

A pregnant girlfriend was telling me how our hormones work, 'You know the moment you get married, and you do that thingy there, you sure get pregnant one ok… I guarantee…'

'Sure boh?'

'Eh, everyone around you is getting pregnant ok, this hormone thing, don't play play okay, you meet me I meet you, next thing you know you start to have your eggs coming out, haaaaaah, family planning, wait and see lah.'

'Got other ways one mah…'

'Cheh, if baby come you don't take meh? God give one woh.'

'Errr… I'm not married yet ok.'

'Can talk one mah.'

Pardon me but I'm getting goosebumps all over. I knew that our conversations would morph into THAT area one day, but hoi, after I get married only talk can ah? We're counting days only mah, be patient, be patient.

Obviously I'm talking to myself here.

Leaving home

Aug 25th

Posted by minishorts in Love & relationships

1 comment

We spent the weekend travelling the distance to the new place, and I got my fingers all wrinkled up from the over-exposure to Cif (cream cleanser for stubborn grease stains). The hob's clean and shiny now, minus the FAGOR label on the side (Cif is so effective the scrubbing got rid of the logo as well!). Eric thinks I'm turning into your average housewife, but I reckon its in the natural course of an ordinary woman's life.

My hubby-to-be will be moving into the new place in week or so, and I've got just over two more months before leaving my mommy's nest.

Honestly, I'm not sure if my mother's too keen on me getting married and moving out. She's spoken about the day since forever, or, at least, ever since I got out of school, Mom's been pestering me to find 'a good guy' and settle down. So now that I've found a considerably acceptable guy who wants me as a wife, Mom's little wish is finally coming true. But her behaviors getting erratic, sometimes she's over eager for the big day to come, other times she seems moody and unhappy, blabbing about 'you're not going to stay here very soon, aiyah you don't want me anymore.'

I can't say that my mom's behavior doesn't affect me. Obviously I'm overjoyed and looking forward to the day when I'll walk down the aisle, and yet, I do get a little teary at the eyes. Mom and me have been like two peas in a pod, and especially afte Dad left, we've grown extraordinarily close. Sure, Eric and I have promised to visit both our mothers as often as possible, and I'll be calling Mom every other day, but I do feel sad about moving out of my mother's home. Its not the first time, since I've stayed on campus during my varsity years before, but obviously getting married and becoming Mrs. Eric, its a different ball game altogether.

I'll ramble on about this again and again, I suppose. There's a lot of random thoughts running havoc in my head.

Keys to a new life

Aug 21st

Posted by minishorts in Love & relationships

2 comments

Eric and I are getting the keys to our future home together in the skies in an hour's time.

*.*

Happiness comes in little installments.

Whither our priorities?

Aug 20th

Posted by minishorts in [...]

7 comments

It baffles me how it is possible for someone to claim to have aspiration and goals of going up the corporate ladder, but when it comes to personal sacrifices, the unwillingness to 'pay the price', like working late, taking on more projects, taking time off for seminars, paying first for networking meals, or even not claiming for RM1 parkings, these little details seep into the behaviourial practices.

Can you bring XXXX out for a drink tomorrow? Thank him for his work, update yourself on what's happening…

Errr can claim ah?

Whatever the employee handbook says…

Pay with what first?

Cash.

Must use my cash ah?

Credit card also can. Whatever works.

OK , parking, driving, can claim ah?

…

Two minutes later after the discussion, an email appears in your mailbox.

Can you write a e-mail to me asking me officially to take the person out. It's easier for me to claim later.

Gosh. Do you get this from your team sometimes?

At performance appraisals, we discuss vision and goals, and the presented list sounds like the norm – ambitious with specific examples of achievements hoped to be realized by a particular date. They understand the targets, they understand the relevance of what 'success' means in this corporate world, but then when it comes to the delivering the results, they're hampered by the little priorites that seem to overshadow the road to victory. And when you give very, very honest feedbacks at appraisals, like 'you need to own the company', 'if you want to go up the ladder you need to start behaving like you belong up there', they can't seem to accept it. They want positive appraisals, but they are just unwilling to pay the price to acquire a positive appraisal.

Team management is the most frustrating and tiring responsibility, ever. Can I give this up?