just minishorts.

They say that every dark cloud has at least one silver lining. And there are never, just one dark cloud in the sky, hence there're always going to be many, many silvery bright linings, even on stormy days (or weeks).

The weight problem is now recognized as a fleshy problem. My weight's been constant since early Jan so there hasn't been a gain in weight. Unfortunatelym I still cannot zip up my blasted dress. But today this woman at the gym came up to me to ask me how'd I keep so fit.. Oh the irony! So now I'm deemed 'fit' and I see the problem I've got muscles in the wrong places, and thanks to the working out (all brides either starve to slim down or they workout like mad at the gym - I took the latter choice), I've now got broader shoulders, a tougher back, and hence, a body that won't fit into the evening gown.

…

The 'what will I do if I started bleeding out of my bottom on the big day' is now turning into a million-pound headache. I've got the contraceptive pills solution at hand, which I'm really really reluctant to try. The problem is this - if my period comes too early, I'll end up looking like The Green Globin come the day of the wedding and I'm really, really not very keen on ultra-thick foundations and blushers to fake the blushing bride look (I wanna go as au naturale as possible). So yah, at the moment i'm not exactly keen on inducing the period to come a little earlier.

On the other hand, if I delay the period, and make it come, say a few days later.. or a week later… I'll be nursing a very bloated body on board that plane to my honeymoon. Now we all know that periods are NOT supposed to be present during your honeymoon for obvious reasons yah. But that aside, we've got two luxurious four hour spas booked during the honeymoon and having a period will mean that I won't be able to enjoy the spa soak and the massage! 

So I'm back to prayer. And adult diapers (a friend suggested that I tested on the gown with adult diapers underneath so that I can, errr, 'leak comfortably' without staining the pretty white gown.')

'Won't the diapers make my ass look bigger?'

'All brides wanna have big asses, especially asian brides. The aunties will be happy. They'll be happy to know that Eric's marrying a very fertile lady. Ngam one lah, just wear diapers.'

Me, in diapers, on my wedding day. Very romantic indeed.

If anything can go wrong, it will. My period has arrived, and counting the days, after this period ends, the next first day for next month's bleeding period will fall on exactly THE DAY.

 I'd been having these nightmares of having stained wedding gowns on the day of the wedding. And for some reason, right now, that stupid Rhonda Brynes theory of the Law of Attraction seems to be coming into reality. God damn it, could I have 'focused' too much on my fear that my period has to now arrive so punctually on time, and of all days, it's got to come NOW? 

This doesn't seem to be doing all well - I had a talk with my gown designer yesterday and she was frantic, 'OMG that means you'll be bloated lah! Aiyoh … and then this week you coming for dress fitting some more. This week you'll definitely be thin enough, but by that time, OMG, Choo Ki, you'll be fat!'

'I'm more worried about staining the dress okay. I NEVER wear white during my period days, now we're expecting the first day of next months period to fall on the wedding day!'

Eric walked past us and screamed, 'WHAT? You're having your what on our wedding day????'

He was obviously worried about other things. My designer looked at me and said, 'You need to get some pills. Induce them or something. Wait, these things, aiyoh, hormones - I don't want anything to go wrong with your skin.'

'Wear diapers can or not?' Eric quipped.

'VERY UNCOMFORTABLE ONE LAH YOU DOINK!' I glared. 'I hate periods, and my first days are ALWAYS heavy. How now?'

I came home to my mom and she was visibly worried as well. And for the first time in my life, my mom actually said this, 'I think you better go to a doctor. I heard that there are pills for these things, maybe make the period come early or something - OMG I can imagine how bloated you'll be if you're having your period that time… and how sulky you'll look as you come down the aisle.'

Rub it in folks, that's right. Rub it in. How many brides you know had their period on their wedding day? Pray, do share.