Traditions (Part 2)
Filed under Love & relationships
Our guodali is happening in a few hours and I am anything but exhausted. Nope I didn't take anything to stall the impending period, and the breakouts are starting (damn period why do you have to come just around the wedding?).
My mom's empty nest syndrome has gone on hyperdrive – hah, can you believe her? She asked me whether I would have lunch ready for me after the ceremony, and all I said was 'Don't worry Mom,' and she went ballistics.
'What don't worry? I know you are very clever and you have everything all figured out, I'm just asking if you will have anything to eat for lunch on that day…'
'Of course mum, we ordered food so you don't have to worry…'
'You really don't have to talk like that ok. I'm just asking, it's not that I want to worry about you ok, I know you know how to take care of yoursef, just answer properly, why must you talk like that?'
…
OK best to stay quiet. I think Eric has learnt to stay quiet whenever I shrink into my bridezilla mode (I swear I'm only bridezilla on ONE person and that's Eric so he takes all the flack, the dear boy!).
…
Planning for the guodali has been one of the major contributors to our wedding stress. About a month ago when we met up (both our families) at a restaurant to discuss the 'pinkam' (dowry), my mom went 'Just give a token.'
Deciding what exactly 'a token' is has been a huge headache. Because there isn't a figure told, Eric can't decide what's right to give – too much and you'll be seen as showing off, too little and God forbid, people wll say that he didn't give my mother 'face'. Damn these Chinese traditions. Why do we have to go through them?
Some of my friends have been asking why do we Chinese see the pig as so important on weddings? And how do we get the pig across the roads to the other house?
Here's the answer: You put it in the car boot. No really, seriously, it's not a live pig, It's a roasted one, and the guys family is supposed to put the pig into the car and drive it to the bride's house. No, the groom is not supposed to come for the guodali. Yes there are other things included besides the pig, my mom asked for the two bottles of wine, and apples and oranges, a dress for me, the kaluipeng (marriage biscuits) and etc, and all of this are arriving at my house…
Of course the brides family isn't supposed to just take the things and sit tight. There's the 'huili', since the Chinese are very particular that we always give in return. So the pig that comes to my house will have its head and its tail chopped off, where my family will keep the BODY, to be chopped up and given to friends and relatives as a celebration of my impending marriage. The part where the body used to be will then have a basket of two bottles of honey, two bottles of F&N Orange, some apples and oranges (taken from whatever we received), a belt, a wallet and a pair of pants for Eric and etc…
In days long past the pig wouldn't arrive before the wedding, but instead, the parents of the bride would be looking out for their daughter's visit home along with the arrival of a pig. The pig, in chinese, sounds like the word 'pearl', and the pearl is a symbol of the girl's purity. So a satisfied groom's family is obliged to send the pig informing the bride's family that 'thank you yah, your daughter is really really a good pearl virgin, we liked it'.
Traditions. Yes, we Chinese have very strange ones.
These days we take the pig ON the wedding day itself, but my mum decided to get a little more creative, and to save time, we're taking the pig during the guodali. So, I GET ROAST PORK to eat tomorrow!!! Yay!
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Oct29
October 30, 2008 at 12:54 am
Apparently, Pig [?] in cantonese “ju” sounds the same as [???] “kong sa ju”, the chinese legendary sign of virginity. If the groom was satisfied that his wife was married as a virgin, a gift of roast pig complete with tail would accompany the bride’s home visit. If not, the roast pig’s tail or ears were broke off.
Got this from http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/
October 30, 2008 at 12:57 am
Hmm odd, I don’t remember the part about the groom not being allowed at the guodali.
The last wedding I attended we were driving like madasses along the Kuala Selangor trunk road because we were late, of all days to be late.
It was the groom who set the maddening pace; and it was an exciting drive, trying not to jostle the pig in the boot.
October 30, 2008 at 4:16 am
Congratulations! I can’t wait to see the pictures! xx
October 30, 2008 at 7:50 pm
What do they send to vegetarian families????
Why do I have images of the Simpsons Spider Pig???
November 1, 2008 at 12:24 am
ready… get set… GO!
November 1, 2008 at 9:50 am
the most annoying part about chinese wedding is we spent 95% of time on things to please others…. and we have never seen 50% of these people before……..
November 1, 2008 at 3:02 pm
if given a choice I think most people these days will skip traditions go straight for the honeymoon
November 2, 2008 at 12:03 am
Heartiest congratulations! Both Eric and you looked beautiful and absolutely radiant today.
November 2, 2008 at 3:13 pm
YES. When it came to the dowry, the in-laws were like “oh it’s up to you, we’re ok with anything” and at home my parents were like “eh kurt, so how much does the bride’s side REALLY want?” and I’m like “WTF do I look like Madam Zorra?” And you know, like, like.
Damn, it was stressful. I didn’t enjoy being the medium of communication. I felt like Casper, only less amiable.
November 2, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Congratulation
Lovely dinner and you two look fabulous
November 3, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Congrats again!!! You looked absolutely beautiful and so very very happy in church and at the dinner. Eric, the dashing groom, was beaming with pride and joy. Have a great life together. God bless you both, always.
November 4, 2008 at 4:25 am
Congrats and Happy Boinking!
November 4, 2008 at 9:10 am
Congratulations… and God Bless you guys