life, love, *motherhood, and then more
Archive for December, 2008
And so I get it, now.
Dec 30th
Close friends would know that I sincerely abhor fundamentalism, especially when it comes in a very religious form. When God, ideally conceptualized as divine becomes captive in man-made cages of what morality, God-led should be, the whole premise automatically spells disaster, and the incidents throughout history has taught us well.
Fundamentalism can prove to be both internally and externally disastrous. Some religions that focus more on fine-tuning the inner being, albeit colourfully united by a pantheon of various 'gods', have been proven to wreck havoc on a believer's mind and soul, leading to strange rituals that sometimes involve insane consensual rape, and consensual violence. Other religions, the ones that focus on monotheistic ideals, in particular, have proven to own believers who in their fundamental zeal, have unleashed century-long wars, or in the recent decades, kamikaze bombers who decide upon the way of the sword.
I like to believe that every man wants good peace and harmony for this world, but I find it strange that so many decide that peace and harmony can only be thrown down by an invisible higher being when He/They is/are pleased by what we humans as minions have done. So be it killing off the unbelievers, or burning paper amulets, grinding the ashes into powder and ingesting them with holy water, or banning yoga-taichi-qigong, them exercises with paganistic origins, these calls to become more fundamental have intentions that are noble. Each believer wants to please his own God, with the sincere belief that God is angered by things that are displeasing. We all get it, if God is happy, then He will grant us peace, then we will be a peaceful nation of peoples, and then the world will be glad and good.
Alas, its been a vicious cycle of war after war, disaster after disaster, ever since our beliefs have been split into the continents they originate from. Oh woe upon the Arabs who are automatically considered Muslims, believers in The Way called Islam that has now become a faith largely associated with fanatical suicide bombers and terrorists. Pity those who live in the US's bible belt, so 'fundamentally' sound their beliefs in tongues and spirit-filling, that that belt also happens to house the vicious National Vanguard. Closer to home, haven't we considered the Chinese's versions of idolatorous buddhist and taoism to be one that priotises material gains only? Alas, or alas, the more the fundamentals work and more determined they demonstrate their intentions to 'right' things, the worse things get.
I find it heart breaking that this Christmas season sees the Palestinian bombings, that the current Israelite administration does not see any wrongdoing in their motivations. The oldest war in the world has yet to end, and what are Christians doing?
Sadly I got a random mail from someone in this local church circle, reminding us Malaysian Christians that yoga is unsafe and not for Christians to practise. Another random mail from another Christian person (and I dunno who thisperson is honestly), was meant to remind recipients that true believers of Christ must not resist spirit filled tongues, and must not be baptised by sprinkling.
Here I am frustrated, angry, and upset. For God's sake, is that the point of being Christians? Reminding your friends to doing safe things only? Casting aside 'weird' activities like tai chi, taekwondo, or qigong just because they are associated with those scary religions like hindusim and buddhism that has its believers prostrating to stone sculptures? Reminding us that there is a difference between Christians who speak in tongues and those who don't? Splitting hairs and asking us to not consider our friends who have been sprinkled as a baby as 'Christians' because it's not in the bible? We have countries being bombed, people and children dying, bodies mutilated to the point of unrecognizable, and this season, you send stupid mails like 'those who go to yoga classes will lose their places in heaven because God will be angry?'
I think God will be more angry that Christians are not priotising the things that matter this Christmas. How many of us will be willing to look towards what matters?
I had to write this sombre note to end the year.
Ten things I want this Christmas
Dec 16th
I was at my husband's company x'mas party yesterday when one of his colleagues asked me, 'Eh so you don't blog so much anymore right?'
Six years since the first time I clicked published on a primitive version of the blogspot CMS, I'm still flabbergasted to discover that people still won't let me go.
I don't like being recognized for the blog anymore. It takes a long long time to get rid of the stigma that comes with this whole social media brat thing, and I didn't exactly behaved very nicely online (obscene parodies of the bedtime stories and all that foul-mouthed swearing on the blog). Its hard to grow up, and its harder to grow OUT of this damn phenomenon that's quickly becoming old news.
Today I'm declaring a list of ten things I really want this Christmas, which is a little less than 9 days away:
- Not so many discoveries of 'strangers-I-know' who read minishorts.net
- A very good salary package from the company that's come a-knocking. A fantastic offer letter would be a most ideal Christmas gift
- A basic microwave oven without the grilling functions
- The Karcher RC3000 RoboCleaner
- The iRobot SCOOBA
- Sun outside my balcony for once, or else, an awesome clothes dryer that won't spoil the fabric
- A Kenwood cakemixer! I wanna bake seriously and I don't want to use a handmixer anymore (Kenwood mixers can make me feel like a pro)
- A book case to store all our books.
- A classy shoe cabinet (we can't seem to find any yet, and Eric hates the ones they sell at Ikea).
- Actually, a househelp who can help me clean the house would be really nice…
Marriage changes people and their priorities. A year ago I would have listed a whole set of other stuff including branded bags, and the latest perfumes. Alas, oh alas!
Sleeping together
Dec 5th
So as you would expect by now, Eric and I are finally sleeping together in the same bed, day after day, and waking up to each other's stale fishy smelling breathes every morning. I put it that way because it's true, my hubby snores through the night especially after a very tiring work day, and his open mouth dries up through the night, making me very reluctant to kiss him in the morning.
But it's not like he's the only guilty one. I drool through the night occasionallym, and dried saliva combined with pillow bacteria doesn't ever smell very appetizing in the morning.
And so the reality has kicked in. Neither of us are very nice to french in the morning. And then again, in-bed acrobatics doesn't necessarily need lips-locking, or so says Eric.
We discovered something that makes for a disastrous sexual relationship in our very first month of marriage. Me, I'm the night owl, and Eric's the morning person. With our body clocks working in such contradiction, it's a little tough getting used to each other's life patterns. Well, it's not so much for me, because Eric's nice enough to compromise in the nights, but in the mornings, ah, says Eric, I'm a very bad bed buddy.
'You hit me again this morning!' whined my hubby during his lunch-break phone call just now.
'Huh? When?'
'This morning! Early, when I wanted to cuddle you and kiss you good morning, Ddddsssjjjcchh! You just elbowed me in the eye!' he exclaimed.
'Eh where got? I cannot remember lah.'
'Standard lah,' said Eric. 'You sleep like a pig lah…. I can't even try to sayang you without being abused.'
'No lah sorry sorry… I didn't know mah… next time shake me up a bit lah.'
'I don't dare lah, the last time I tried shaking you remember what happened? I told you lah, you kicked me and punched my cheek.'
'hehehhehe…'
'And the worst thing is you can't even remember a thing!'
'Its a defence reflex lah. So that bad men can't touch me when I'm unconscious, GOOD WHAT!'
'GOOD your head lah, I'm your husband lah doink!'
I told a few friends already about my problematic reflex system, and all they could say between laughter is, 'Hahhaha I dunno how to help you man, this one really needs God's intervention. Pray, pray lah. Hopefully you'll be a nicer bed partner.
I'm still praying. *sigh*
On pleasing God, and then the world
Dec 1st
I fear for my life these days, but I find this increasing urge to be a bit of a kay-poh-chi and express my two cents on the recent fatwa ruling against the practice of yoga among Muslims. This of course, is partially triggered by a recent e-mail written in Malay regarding possible fatwas that might be announced in the future, including fatwas against pingpong (kerana banyak dimainkan oleh orang di Negara China) and against rootbeer (Kerana rootbeer contains the word 'beer' and anything that suggests association is hence, guilty, by pure association).
Of course some people are up in arms over people who are wondering why it is that the folks up there in the National Fatwa Council are not focusing their intellects into the more pressing issues like rising crime rates or spousal abuse and children abuse, but putting down rules on practices like Yoga which can't be that dangerous at all.
My two-cents are coming in now, and personally I believe I might be 'more right' than other people, even though I ain't Islam in anyway, because I do come into contact with people who are very very fervently religious, in both ways really – whether they're religiously Christian or religiously Buddhist-Taiost-Malaysian folk-style.
The first cent is how it is important that those of us who profess to be more liberal and well read and therefore we understand the religion more than how these fundamentalists are, ought to practise what we preach and really be 'liberal' enough to be accepting of the yoga / tomboy fatwas. Some Christians might have gone through this before (I know I have), where the overzealous Church overseers suddenly have some vision of destruction UNLESS the people united under Christ are commited enough to denounce anything that has got to do with the devil. Categories associated with the devil, well, that could be anything. Out go the Chinese dragon embroideries, out go the practice of yoga (and throw in aikido, judo, taekwondo, kungfu and any form of martial arts), throw out those Dan Brown books n burn those Dungeons and Dragons novels and games. Please God entirely, and a very pleased God will bestow blessings upon us.
I don't want to be lop-sided, because I had a friend, who calls herself a devout follower of some Chinese deity, who told me off because I invited her to my wedding at church. Then she told me that she couldn't come to the wedding because it was against her religion, and she didn't want to affect her karma or something.
In the same way I had many Muslims coming to our wedding and singing Fairest Lord Jesus with us during the ceremony. I wonder what would the NPC think had they had known that…. would these humans play the earthly judges for Allah and loudly proclaim that these lost souls would find themselves burning in hell?
…
My other cent will be on how the death-fearing human will do almost anything to stay alive, and how amazing that fear is that they would even bring that 'I shall not ever die, ever' spirit beyond the grave, and think up of all sorts of rules to ensure heaven will be a certainty. Despite the fact that death seems to be the only certainty we known, and so far there's not been a single human being who has come back to tell us exactly what living in the afterlife is like, we have had plenty of prophets and visionaries (of the otherkind) who have turned themselves into leaders of sorts. Oh so powerful this force we call fear, that we humans would build walls of all sorts to protect us from anything.
And so you have to understand the reason why those kind people in the National Fatwa Council, or your local Church leadership, or that medium you visit before you start a new job for your blessing amulet, tells you that you cannot do things that are strange to the religion. They really have our best interests at heart, and then they also understand that thing about being unable to please the whole world. They also know that universal understanding that if you do believe in a God, then you have to please God above all, after which it should follow that God will grant you favour, which in turn will make you likeable. And if you're not likeable now, you know, at least you will be likeable in the afterlife.
By now we should have already known it. Hasn't 9/11 and recently the Mumbai attacks taught us anything? Look a little back, and hasn't that crazy time called the Spanish Inquisition taught us anything? Humans will be humans wherever andwhenever they exist, and we will just have to live with these people. But here's the fun part, at least we know that sensible people like us are likeable in a world that exists now. At least we know that we're living life to the fullest ina world that we're living in now. When its time to get to the other side, I'm sure we'll discover things in that world that we'll adjust to it then.
My sympathies go with those kind, loving, yoga-practising muslims who have to go through this period. I feel for you, but trust me, I know what it's like to be throw into Catch-22 situations that mushroom out of ridiculous religious decrees. In the end, truly, the Truth shall prevail.
