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Voices in my head

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I don't know about you but sometimes, when I write, its as if there's two people in my head, me and me. One asks the questions, the other gives the answers, and that's how I sometimes sort out the difficult parts of living my life.

Over the years I've grown to accept that an easy life isn't necessarily a blessing and a difficult life isn't necessary a curse. Maybe it's because as you grow older you start to appreciate how people who go through more difficult patches than others tend to create bigger results than the lucky 'I sprint through my youth and 'arrived' at an early age' person.

I used to envy the rich man's son in school, the friend I had who could afford everything we couldn't. Never exactly poor, I still compared my life and what I didn't have to what they had. The overseas education I could not afford. The father who watched them graduate, that I didn't have. The cars they drove, that I didn't have. The glamourous job they attained, which I failed to get. You know, things like this, eventually they drive you crazy! Because then you start to blame life, blame God, the universe, karma, and then you start counting your birthdates and birth times and look to horoscopes and palm readings to find an excuse for your own miserable life.

I don't look at my experiences now as better than theirs. I know that now, some people envy me more than others, and it's always like this – always someone better, always someone worser. Is life fair like this or unfair like this? I don't know, we, humans, we like to give qualitative labels to the conditions in which we allow ourselves to live our lives. When the fact is just this: life, just is. A flicker, a moment, and then its gone. How did you then live it?

Each condition is an opportunity to become a blessing.