minishorts.net

Please God, don’t turn me into Momzilla

Filed under Parenting & kids, Rants

When motherhood descended upon me, it opened to me a whole new world of experiences. Suddenly I was part of a whole new fraternity of people – a sort of secret, open society whoses topics were never made known until you actually graduated into the group.

And the criteria for being part of the parenting club was simple: get pregnant, go into labour, bring up your own kid.

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It is now almost one year and four months since I got pregnant, and nearly seven months from the day I went into delivery, and I am still reeling from the experience. Suddenly I have a whole new group of friends (and strangers) who are so eager to share with me their experiences and their learnings from the past.

ENTER THE MOMZILLA. OMG, I didn't think I would EVER come face to face with people like that, but *tiu* , ahem pardon my language, THIS BLOGOSPHERE damn a lot man.

*Disclaimer: henceforth this post is going to be a rant.*

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The thing is, I'm a new mother, I'm fresh to the game, and I'm totally enamoured by the experiences motherhood brings me. I love the breastfeeding journey, the solid-feeding journey, the washing my baby's poop journey and the putting baby to sleep each night journey… all of these and the other minute details that makes up my whole life of being Paul's mother. I'm keen to learn, and like any other intellectually driven working mother of this social media age, the Internet is my best friend. I surf the net on a daily basis to find out what's available, I read famous mothering blogs, and online journals of the mommies who have gone through my experiences before to sort of get an idea of what this whole mothering thing means to them, and about their experiences and learnings in life.

And then I post about my kid a lot. On this blog, it is obvious (I've since graduated into become a MOMMY BLOGGER ahah!), and then on Twitter, on Facebook, I constantly post updates about my feelings about Paul, Eric and what my kid is doing. Sometimes, I also put down a plea for help, but other times you know, an update is just an update.

Apparently being a new mother is also a target for momzillas to show just how clever they are. I don't know if you fit the bill but there are just so many of them, for example, educational comments on 'what cereal is best for my kid'. Or, comments that sound a little like, 'no worries, I did this for my two kids also and this is what you should do yada yada yada…'

The crazy thing is half the time I hardly know these people! Killer kan? There's this person, who happens to be my husband's friend's brother's friend's wife whom I met at a party eons ago, just ONCE, and she's one of those people who does this on a constant basis WTF (if you happen to be that woman and you are reading my blog sorry lah I memang not the type to give face one cos you're damn annoying can?). I've also come across those too-free-nothing-to-do mommies who surf the net for blogs by mothers, and then go around leaving their two cents in every nook and corner that they can. Oh, and usually, they would also own the most awesome mothering blog, which is laden with advice and shopping previews, and organic choices. Moms like this own blogs too, and their blogs follow a certain pattern. First, they would scrimp on themselves but would not hasten to purchase THE BEST OF THE BEST for their kids: total breastfeeding only, BPA free in every darn plastic ware purchase, sterilize sterilize sterilize, organic only, no sugar at all in the food, 100% angmoh diet, die die follow the wholesomebabyfoods website advice and well, regurgitating 'what they've read by the western experts and doctors' advice on newbies like me.

So jia lat right? ARE YOU ONE? OMG I hope I didn't hurt you in that post.

I really don't mind getting advice from people I KNOW personally, but seriously, when I hardly know you, OMG it is really too much to keep getting pointers and updates on what I should do with my kids. It is bad enough that because I have to work all day and leave my kids with either mothers, that I have to contend with them constantly telling me all my mothering mistakes and what I should do to right them! So seriously, I don't need these kay-poh-chis roaming the net for new friends to judge me on my actions and choices for Pauls. You can have your judgements about how teruk I am, and please, feel free to bitch about them in your mother-of-the-year contender's club, but if you're just visiting and being a busybody around my facebook, twitter and blog, keep your opinions to yourself.

I hardly know you you know?

Here's a clue, if I need your help, I WILL ASK YOU. And here's the other thing about me, this blog doesn't exist as a fishing spot with baits for advice givers. If it's a post about my life, a record of what I did with my kid, can you please try very very hard not to give advice, and tell me how I should have done it right?

So hard being a parent these days.

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On that note, this post is also a plea to God and a reminder to myself to not walk the path of the momzilla monster. Scary you know!