just minishorts.

I'm about to head back to work after a month of chilling it at home, and while it means that prior to the wedding I'll be working (unlike many people who take about two weeks off before their big day to do the preparation), I'm actually looking forward to it. At least it means that I'll get to be preoccupied with what I call, the things that matter.

Having the extra hours to myself during this holiday-period obviously gave me a lot more time to catch up on good ol' blog-surfing. My memory of the Malaysian blogosphere has always been a comfortable virtual hangout where diverse characters who share the common love of expressing themselves via their writing or their photography can build friendships and extend their networks. While my work requires me to be somewhat disengaged from that society, I've always treasured whatever little time I get to spend with these people, and I've been very flattered whenever I find out that people still know who I am. Or the old friends whom I used to hang out with blogger bashing on MSN Live Messenger, still know me, and we can go beyond the niceties and still throw the familiar names around.

My holiday surfing season has been a strange experience. It feels a bit like returning home to Kota Bharu after, five years of not visiting, and being unable to swallow in the massive structure near the Kelantan River that screams 'TESCO'. Perhaps its because I recall some of the old over-the-chat bitching where we used to point fingers at wannabes, and we would cry folly when idiots pretend to be print journalists. It was the whole 'we wanna make the blogosphere' a commendable medium thing that made it fun. There was healthy competition, we bloggers the underdogs and then them 'journos' who made a living out of writing for the more reliable print media. Healthy because we never crossed the line in bashing each other, at least not then.

Now its different lah. It's really, really strangely odd to see how bloggers who used to go 'yay yay I'm featured in the Star' even thought its just a single word-mention, are now going 'Fuck NST they  used my blog and they never even credit me and the links they give me are pathetic'. Alas the old elitist in me has yet to shrivel off, and since I've never been an apologist for being somewhat judgemental and definitely holier-than-your-average-deity, I'm here thinking, 'OMG what the hell did fame do to you?'

Two years back I'd probably be up in bounds and blurting a whole lot of profanities (mostly for fun) and bashing up such strange characters, but right now, maybe its because I got older and my own wedding is taking up so much of my time (and of course, I'm inwardly gloating because FINALLY I'm going to be married and tsk tsk you're not muahhahah), I'm just going to say that Thank God my life took another direction and thank God I'm just a simple old plain Jane who's looking forward to slaving it out in the marketplace once again.

Gawd damn it… of all times to GAIN FREAKING WEIGHT, I gain weight NOW! And it happened in an obscenely short time!

The Benchmark - to fit into the Carven dress that I bought off the shelves a few months back.

Every two weeks since I've had that dress, I've diligently taken it out of the wardrobe and wore it around the house to make sure I felt comfortable walking around in it. And for the past five - six months, there has never been any problems with the size of the dress. In fact, a little less than two weeks ago, I tried it on and it was a little looser than usual, I had to stuff up my chest with little tissue folds to make sure it wouldn't fall off my boobs.

And then, MY aunt came to town, and my mom happy went, 'You should see the dress that our little girl bought, she looks great in it…. Go, girl, go and try it for your aunty to see…'

So I went like Mama's good girl and slipped myself into the long uncomfortable piece, and then as usual, pulled the zip up my back… except, this time, the zip wouldn't go up after the small of my back.

'Girl? You ok in there? Ok or not? Come out quick lah!'

'Wait wait…'

'Cannot wear izzit? YOU GOT FAT AH?'

'No no cannot zip… hands got cramped up I think…' and I SERIOUSLY thought so, so I let my aunt and my mom into the room so that they could help.

'Errr… I think cannot lah. Must alter. Too tight, cannot zip up adi.'

'Can one Ma, try, last week when I tried it on it was too loose…' I said.

'Too loose so you EAT SO MUCH IZZIT?' my mom started, and then she turned to her sister, 'How can pull it up or not?'

'Errr… ' my aunt tried. 'Better not push it, we don't want the dress to BURST okay!'

OF ALL FREAKING TIMES, I GAIN WEIGHT ONE MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING! HELP HELP HELP!!!

FACE YOUR MANGA!!!

Foung this very nifty website a while ago, and now I get to make a whole set of new avatars for my facebook!

 Man, its been a long long time since I found stuff like this on the web.

This is my take:

IF you are a celebrity, then fucking admit it. Coming out and saying something as inmature as 'btw, i have never ever regarded or refered to myself as a celebrity' is insanely stupid, worse if you're been exactly that, a celebrity, for the past four years. Sinful if everything you've done, everything you've planned and designed in the past 3? 4? years was to head you to become more and more successful as a celebrity.

Its as bad as Amber Chia not being able to handle the sticks and stones that comes with being a celebrity model and gasping, 'But I've never seen myself as being a model before.'

As bad as Pak Lah coming out in the open and saying, 'I HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF AS THE PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA.'

As terrible as Anwar Ibrahim getting all that flack about sodomy and the scandals that come with his battle, and then blurting out, 'You know I have never ever regarded myself or never dreamt of being the prime minister of Malaysia.'

Denying you are a celebrity, when you are OBVIOUSLY a celebrity, its just a bloody insult to your fanboys, your readers, your agents, the people who pay you. Its' NOT even halfway near humble. It's noobish behaviour and its stupidly wimpy. 

Some people have asked me what it takes to make it into my list of 'credible' media contacts.

Because I'm such an atas character I require the following 'credentials' to be met:

• A reasonable reputation- i.e. zero scandals or the lesser the better
• Has a clear idea of the current global and local news scenario
• Has good language skills
• Capable of acceptable and intellectual delivery
• Un-narcissistic - lack of desire to become a celebrity (someone who is ok with anonymity)
• Reliable and easily contacted (please reply your e-mails within the week)
• Ability to recognize and understand basic industry terms

For example, during Press Conferences, I typically note down reporters who ask smart questions and are clever enough to call my office to ask the pushing ones. Hard-workers like this stand a higher chance of being granted exclusive stories from my office, or the occasional free meal, or two. When we go on trips for site or plant visits, we usually extend additional seats to journos and bloggers. Invitations are sent out to credible and reliable professionals.

With the hype for new media slowing gaining ground and coming into maturity phase, we're keen on meeting up with more 'credible' bloggers. And I do know that ours is not the only company who're engaging bloggers. These are exciting times.