just minishorts.

Recently I stumbled upon the private mind depositories (read: personal blogs) of some very very rich, but very very emotional not-so-young souls on the net. At first, the flawless execution of English and the beautiful artistic photograph inserts that accompany the short expositions on these blogs attracted me, but alas, as I continued to read on, the content, the tone, the constant dramatic soliloquys of sorrow, sorrow, and more sorrow got annoying.

Really, really, annoying.

And there are more than just one Mr or Ms Emo. There are many now, these little millenium baby-boomers, the offspring of an affluent generation, who're rich enough to afford their children classy overseas educations in the best of the foreign schools, branded apparel that're so pricey each piece exceed the average Joe's monthly salary, and the coolest gadgets and toys to get around town in .

So the resultant adult-child, Mr/Ms Emo, born into an absurdly rich family, has a blog that records the depressions of life as reflected in broken Jimmy Choos and frayed Louis Vuitton scarves. Recaps of Mr /Ms Emo's New Year's Day celebrations  are really painful moans of how heinously disastrous the past year was because, alas, alas, it didn’t quite turn out the way poor little rich girl hoped it would. Life in Malaysia is akin to 'purgatory' because the streets of glamourous London or New York or Paris beckon them with the memories of 'true joy' they once experienced in a not-too-distant life they used to lead there (as parent-sponsored STUDENTS, mind you!).

Day after day, you can almost hear the gnashing of teeth from young adults like this, going on and on and on over how hopeless it is to live a life to pathetic existence in lousy Malaysia, to have to drive through the horridly potholed roads of Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya,  to have to survive with faulty Nokias or Blackberries, to have to endure horrendous English spewed from the mouths of less-educated Starbucks baristas who can't make a coffee as good as the ones they used to savor from the 'real coffee' bars of Manhattan.

Like, can you get over it already? Life isn’t designed to revolve around your sparkly coutured wholesomeness, not everyone speaks impeccable English, and yes this country sucks, but so does the rest of the world, didn't you already noticed?

So it's true. I have no space in my heart to understand and love rich kids who lament and sigh about life EVERY single day on their blog. It is hard for me to understand and be tolerant of rich kids who write fantastically, having the ability to spew verbal diarrhea at every turn; especially not when that diarrhea consists of complaints about how terrible this country is, how sad it is that they were unfortunately enough to tear a whole in their incredibly expensive cocktail dresses. I find it hard to shrug off such stockpiles of attitudinal holier-than-thous, translated into paragraph after paragraph of monotonous drone over how pathetic their lives are.

I sort of sense that kids like this, are trying to prove a point that THEY LIVE NORMAL LIVES, which they don’t. Rather, the truth is, from my window and where I'm standing, they're just plain weird, poor little rich kids who don't know how to appreciate what they already have. It’s like they’ve got everything going for them, with beautiful skin and lovely clothes that allow them the luxury of looking better than they actually look, thanks to visits to Sothy’s and the opportunity to dress up in the top of the range designer offerings. And yet these kids have no ability at all to look life in the eye and laugh at it, much less the ability to look in the mirror and take themselves less seriously.

What’s worse is their complaints always, usually, revolve around how sad it is that people don’t seem to want to take this world seriously.

But seriously, is there a serious point to taking this earth, this life, so rigidly serious? SERIOUSLY?

….

I'll admit it, since I have been accused once of being Ms Emotional on the blog, and now that I’m at this stage of my life, I think I can finally understand why so many called me annoying. Because being overtly emotional, or ‘emo’ in today’s slang, IS depressingly disgusting, and it drove people away.

Of course it also attracted people who came back again and again to read and shake their heads in disgust at the 'oh woe be upon me' drama I was displaying in full glory in this blog. Having said that, I really hope I'm long past that phase, because being 30 and complaining about the viciousness of life tires the pysche and definitely isn't healthy for anyone.

The Catholic Herald's website has been hacked as I'm writing this. I must say that it's terribly unfortunate,  but it seems as if the super vocal 'I am more -Muslim- than you' people who seem to permeate this side of reality sure know how to seek attention.

You know a few years ago several of my friends would have chided me for speaking up against the official mindsets of the ruling race. But then, I don't quite see why this need to silence ourselves just to keep the peace, and over the years, I have more than once engaged in battle with some rather narrow minded 'my faith is so much better than yours, that's why I'm going to spend the time bitching about how stupid your faith is' sort of people. It's unfortunately that they claim to represent Islam, which is the official faith of this country.

And then I got married, I got pregnant, yada-yada, I sort of mellowed, and then halfway through this life that zest for engaging in apologetics and speaking up fizzled away.

…

Of course, three weeks to my expected delivery date, a friend from church tells me that 'Did you know that the Catholic Herald's website has been hacked?'

That, and of course, reading of some Catholics and Christians going on twitter, all smart and dandy and declaring, 'I am #Catholic n I dun agree with using the word – it confuses people' sort of riles me up, because it just proves that Malaysia is far far far away from heading towards that 1Malaysia vision that our smart-s PM cooked up. It's quite illogical to conceptualize 1Malaysia when clearly, many many people on this side of the sea consider our East Malaysians foreigners and think that Malaysia is only the peninsular and nothing else.

…

So no, 'for the sake of keeping peace' doesn't warrant any single one of us being doormats. And if anyone from the so-called ruling race wants to threaten us with that whole 'ketuanan Melayu' shit, I'll say this now: excuse me, did you just pop out of some storybook zaman? Sure you can claim that this is Malaysia we need to live like Malaysians and accept Malaysia as it is; but I can also say the same thing to you, this is Malaysia, and like it or not we are citizens just like you – the only thing that separates us is RELIGION, and RACE, and those are quite pathetic excuses to claim lordship and sovereignity. Besides, if you truly wanted your religion and race to be revered and respected, hacking a Catholic website is hardly the smartest thing to do.

…

And so 2010 begins with a sad reminder that a big chunk of Malaysia is still stuck in the dungeons of idiocy. Alas.

Funny how some people are.

Like, when your comp breaks down, and you ask for Help. When Help arrives, how'd you treat Help?

Do you stand aside and let help take charge?

Or do you sit beside Help and tell Help to do what you think is necessary?

'Turn off and see.'

'Click that and see.'

'Are you sure it's that one?'

'No you cannot touch that!'

…

Kalau you pandai sangat, buat pe minta Tolong?!!

Friday. 7.03 pm.

Pregnant also must work so late.

*grumble grumble grumble*

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, dalam seminggu lagi kita akan meraikan tahun kemerdekaan negara kita yang ke-52 dengan lagu-lagu yang kononnya bertemakan semangat 'Satu Malaysia'.

Satu Malaysia with a good dose of very vocal people who have simply no sense of respect for their fellow citizens, and who think that just because they have a certain land-right, religious right, and colour right, it is all right to sound 'seditious' in a newspaper that speaks the 'national language' (that we all know as Utusan Malaysia), but it is not all right for newspapers in a language that they do not understand at all to be irresponsible.

Oh must I remind you that of course, most of these 'holier, I am better than you are because I have a Hak Melayu' over your measly Hak Malaysia, pakciks (sorry lah I have to sound gender-ist, since most of these idiots tend to be men, as far as I notice), just came to the conclusion that Chinese papers like Sin Chew, Nanyang and etc, are IRRESPONSIBLE and PROMOTE DISUNITY, based on assumptions.

Quoting this particular pakcik's anger driven opinion piece on the nutgraph, he says,'

Mungkin ada dua masalah utama akhbar-akhbar Cina ini. Pertama, daripada segi kualiti wartawan. Ramai yang tidak menguasai bahasa Melayu dan tidak fasih berbahasa Inggeris. Sebahagian pula tidak banyak pengetahuan mengenai undangundang, Perlembagaan dan pentadbiran negara. Ini menyebabkan banyak laporan berita dan ulasan mereka menimbulkan kegusaran dan kemarahan rakyat.

Mereka menimbulkan sentimen kebencian kepada pihak berkuasa kerana mereka sendiri tidak memahaminya.

Keduanya, sesetengah daripada akhbar ini hanya menyokong apa sahaja agenda yang menguntungkan kaum Cina. Justeru laporan berat sebelah dan berunsur menghasut kebencian kepada pihak berkuasa, kerajaan, Umno, Utusan Malaysia dan pemimpin Islam adalah lumrah dan satu kemestian kepada mereka.

Wahlau, like Pakcik, bila pulak Pakcik fasih Bahasa Cina sampai pakcik dapat menghasilkan kesimpulan yang begitu, err, how do you call it, 'promote hatred?'.

The point is, I don't pretend to understand Tamil and give my stupid two-sen over whether Tamil Nesan promotes 1Malaysia or not. I know that in my world where I exist, I'm required to do whatever I can to contribute to a loving society (I'm a Utopian-idealist in disguise, so kill me already). And hey, if you think the Chinese papers were insensitive towards your rights, hello, since when did Hak Melayu override our Nation's priority to move towards 1Malaysia? (Or Dato' Seri Najib, did I read your so called manisfesto wrong, and it was all just a political gimmick to draw our attention away from those smutty and scandalous rumours about … errr.. nvm, afturds I kena ISA).

As far as I understand, the if any of the Chinese Papers, or English papers, or Tamil papers make a wrong move, their licence gets suspended immediately. In  Malaysia, our newspaper agencies have to get their licences renewed on AN ANNUAL BASIS. Freedom of the press my ass… now I don't always complain so boldly about this, but I don't freaking care if you've more rights to 'own this country' than I do simply because I am not Malay, and not Muslim.

All I know is that Merdeka is closing upon us and this country feels more like an unnatural prison of rights, and articles like this DO NOTHING to dispel that sense of dread.