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Definitions (and choices)

Filed under Religion

A week ago I received an epiphany that shook the stability of the reality I've become accustomized to. Being utterly human and surviving in a superstitious community, we're all used to experiencing prayer in our distinct religious societies. No matter who you profess God to be, ultimately, we pray the same prayer. In life, fear of the unknown locks us into seemingly bottomless pits and in desperation, we ask God to save us and get us out. When finances run dry, fear of the unknown cramps us into a corner and we ask of God to provide. When danger lurks, fear of death pressurizes our psyches and we pray, we pray to God to provide for us an anchor and for God to save our life.

My epiphany struck me as I was driving down the LDP to meet a business prospect. Just as the LDP is built and we are purely driving on it to arrive at a planned destination, so is the road to journey of our lives already charted. There are many routes to arrive at the end destination, but all the roads have been provided for. Even in the wilderness where the terrain is rough, the route exists.

We have read it wrong. Prayer isn't about trusting that God will provide. Living isn't about hitting concrete walls and finally turning religious at the eleventh hour, finally believing in a God of some kind because 'He' provides. It isn't about lighting joss sticks and begging God to give us something that we want. When we say God was here before us, that God created Creation, then it is important that we accept what this implies. He has charted all of the courses, provided all of the necessary. At all our seconds of making important choices, God has already provided what we need. So trusting in God isn't about trusting in an unknown, I have no idea what to accept and what to do. Trusting in a Universe that responds to our desires means also that we trust in our desires and that we trust that we must therefore desire also what the Universe desires (after all we are of the same Creation).

So if God has already provided, then all we have to do is to respond, make a choice, take an action, move ahead. Every step of the way, God has already provided. Responding, choosing, acting and moving. That's the tough part about life. That's why we struggle the most of our lives to our deaths, because we keep denying the reality we have already been given, we keep refusing the gifts we have already received, and we keep wanting more, better, bigger things. Beyond all of this, we will never have enough, and so even when the treasures of the Universe are already before our eyes, we are blinded by our own fear.

American Idol Showdown

Filed under Rants

This year its important. Because I REALLY REALLY can't stand that eyeliner performance whore Adam Lambert.

I hope Adam loses. BADLY. I think all the Gokey voters are now going to vote for Kris. That has got to be good news. Adam Lambert is not going to cut any awesome records, and Gokey's out there ready to be signed on, anytime. Kris ain't as good as Danny, but at this point in time, if I had the chance to vote, I'd vote for a rock over Adam Lambert.

Here's to Kris winning the title this year!

Add on:

OMG the whole Adam Lambert fan base has to consist of the most idiotic people in the universe. I mean, they won't even allow the existence of people who don't like Adam Lambert – they'll go out and debate with you and try to 'coerce' you into agreeing with them that their adorable, darling, eyeliner wearing drag-queen wannabe Adam Lambert is God.

(and then on other days they go and talk about how much they love Jesus… errr).

I mean I wouldn't spend a cent on buying cheap magazines that has Danny Gokey or Kris Allen on the covers.

Actually, I take that back.

….

I've never been a sucker for purchasing stuff about a singer just because I like him. Well, I was like that, but that was when I was a teenager, and I bought things with Aaron Kwok's face printed on it because every other teenage girl likes it.

Now, I'm almost thirty and I think that money should be spent on better, more important things. Not magazines on how awesome Adam Lambert is.

…

I'm saying this because a normally, perfecty sane, professional person is actually having a stupid spat with me on FB just because I said I hope Adam Lambert loses. I don't like that idiot, of course I hope he loses. And because I don't like Lambert, of course I'll have a dozen and one ugly things to say about him. I don't give a fuck what you think of Adam Lambert, but I give a flying fuck that you react to my comment and tell me how wrong I am and that Adam Lambert is awesome. I give fuck that you won't let me have an opinion about who I think is the most stupid, ridiculous, overrated gay douchebag on TV since… I dunno. He's so ridiculous I can't find comparisons to it.

Well, at first I just didn't like Adam Lambert because, I think he just screeches and he can't sing. Today I don't like him because his fans are ridiculously violent and that they'll go down to calling you 'CHILDISH' because you don't like Adam Lambert.

Well excuse me, in my life time I happen also to not like alot of other things. Sarah Palin, the two Bushes, the idiots who call themselves my government, and of course, AHAHAH, Adam Lambert (and maybe Paula Abdul that drunk judge on Idol).

Adam Lambert fans have a problem with that? Oh my, what else is new.

add on

The single comment to this rant says it all. Err… *boo hoo you attack me because I like Adam Lambert, so because of that I don't like you anymore. Even though last time I used to really really respect your writings.

Ahem.

Excuse me.

Whatever. I don't live an American Idol based life. Thank God.

Debunking Your Jesus

Filed under Religion

This is more of a pointer to an awesome article by the Internet Monk, What was Jesus-Like.

What strikes me in the article, in particular, is how the blogger clearly states out the revolutionary presence that was Jesus in those times, and the things he did that defied the norm. Ah, but human beings, we love our norms, our mini organizations, its what keeps us moving, keeps us existing, keeps us wholesome. Anything out of the ordinary and we would all be shaken and thrown apart, so suspicious we are of the real thing that when the real thing presents itself among us, we wouldn't even recognize it.

I have a feeling that none of us right now would be able to recognize and accept Jesus, if he appeared among us, right now. Because all of us, each one of us, we all have a 'version', an idealized idea of who Jesus is, what He likes and what He doesn't like (and very likely, these things would be ridiculously close to what we like and what we don't like). So if you're the type of Christian who religiously tithes and attends church in your Sunday best every single week, your Jesus is the type who hates people who cheat on their tithes and wears sports jerseys with dragon motifs and appear in church half an hour late. If you're the Christian who will only believe in the gift of the spirit as evident in the sign of tongues, your Jesus will frown upon those who are unable to babble when they pray. If you belief that the traditional liturgies of the church institution are closest to the what Jesus wants, then probably you wouldn't trust those detractors who are anti liturgy, since they claim that that practice is far too ritualistic.

And if you're the Christian who believes that Christ only saves those who have professed to believe in him, you'll find it hard to believe that your Buddhist / Hindu / Muslim friend will meet you in Heaven when the time comes.

Isn't it true then? Our God exists to serve our personal needs, personal beliefs, personal ideals of what heaven is like (and very likely, that personal heaven will definitely not have the kind of person that you personally do not like very much, aye?).

So yah, it kinda hits you right there, when you think about it. And quoting the Internet Monk

Jesus didn’t waste his time with religious and doctrinal debates. He always moves to the heart of the matter. Love God, Love Neighbor, Live the Kingdom.

That's why I take a lot of time to read what church websites have to say. When a church spends too much webspace outlining the minute details of their beliefs, it makes me worry. It makes me worry that gatherings there will consist of conversations emphasizing who gets to heaven and who will not. I fear the meetings of people who sit together and talk about how many people we have brought to Christ. I have attended services where photos of people prayng in other places of faith are put on screen, and we pray that they learn about Jesus soon, and where we ask the Lord to forgive them for praying to the devil. I have a problem with churches like this, because I feel that they practice an 'us vs them' kind of mentality.

Because the Jesus of my faith is encompassing, loving, bringing salvation by grace, and ushering in Kingdom Come, ON EARTH as in heaven. Kingdom is already in Heaven, but it eludes us living on Earth because, it seems that we really don't want it at all. We don't want a Kingdom Come that loves our enemies, loves the people we don't love. We only want a Kingdom come in a certain format that is ideal to us, not the kingdom come that Jesus was praying for in the Lord's Prayer.

So when will it ever come?

I thank the Internet Monk for igniting that flame in me, once again.

Being Married S01E03

Filed under Parenting & kids

My husband is car crazy. Ever since I met him, he's bought three cars, two of which are still in our possession. The white Accord is a 1994 SV4, an old junk that he picked up from one of those old Nissan showrooms (someone brought it in to trade it in for a new car) and since then he's called it his 'first wife'. I'm the honourable mistress, apparently, cos Mrs Accord SV4 is his first love.

So yah, I live with this sort of stuff, especially the ongoing affairs with upgrading the car. I think the upgrades to the car by now surpass the original price of the junk. I'm sorta okay with it, because it doesn't quite intrude into my space, well, not usually, sometimes Eric gets on my nerves, and right now, my husband isn't exactly Mr Awesome, because he *bloody* transported this *fucking* piece of dirty junk into my kitchen area! And now I HAVE to live with it until he find himself 'a reliable' paint person to get it sprayed 'just the way I want it'.

Trust and mistrust

Filed under Anecdotes

Does it happen to you sometime? A sudden instinctal feeling that pushes you to do something, turn on the tv, take a bath, write down a recipe, write a post, something. Does it happen?

And then after it happens, do you, pause a moment, ponder on what had just happened, and wonder, was the universe finally talking to you, giving you a message?

…

I have those moments all the time these days, tiny bleeps throughout the days that stop me in my breath, and then I react, do whatever my gut tells me to, in the aftermath, when I look back, I am stunned, amazed.

…

It feels like, something, someone, is trying to tell me something.
This is one of those things.